Relationship
Marriage is a lifelong commitment
Marriage is a lifelong commitment; God joins the husband and wife together and only death will disjoin them. Commitment is not a ‘sexy’ word or concept; but it probably has more to do with making marriages work than anything else.
It is not just about saying marriage vows nor having a piece of paper that says ‘marriage license.’ Commitment is important because we act differently when we know that our futures are tied together.
You may dodge a difficult conversation if you are aware that your time with that person is limited. In the face of growing discontent or your partner’s behaviour becoming increasingly irritating, you may decide to end the relationship and search for a new love that brings joy and fulfillment.
However, commitment means you have promised to stay and work it through, not just today but forever. Commitment is a choice to give up choices. Although this might at first sound limiting, it actually brings great freedom and depth.
No longer does the committed person need to weigh which person or way of life will bring more happiness. Once committed, all one’s energy goes into making this commitment work.
No longer are other possibilities a distraction. The two major stages of commitment are making the initial commitment and keeping the commitment.
Marriage as a lifelong commitment also implies that you love your spouse enough to make a decision to stay married “until death do us part.” In other words, divorce is not an option in your mind.
At some point, a husband and wife need to ‘decide’ to love—even when they do not feel like it. Lifetime commitment is an understanding that marriage is created by God and it is meant to be permanent.
Jesus Christ reiterated the permanence of marriage. Matthew 19:3-6 (NIV) says:
“Some Pharisees came to Him to test Him. They asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
In the above passage, Jesus is confronted by the Pharisees, who aim to test his views on divorce. They ask if it is permissible for a man to divorce his wife for any reason, hoping to trap Jesus into contradicting the Law.
However, Jesus cleverly redirects their attention to the creation account in Genesis, highlighting God’s original design for marriage. Jesus emphasises that marriage is a divine union, instituted by God, where a man and woman become one flesh. This union is not merely a human contract but a sacred bond ordained by the Creator.
By citing Genesis 2:24, Jesus underscores the permanence of this union, emphasising that the two become one flesh, no longer separate entities.
By saying, “Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate,” Jesus affirms that marriage is a lifelong commitment, sanctified by God’s divine hand.
He is not merely addressing the Pharisees’ question about divorce but rather upholding the sacredness and indissolubility of marriage.
In the passage, Jesus:
a. Affirms God’s creation design for marriage (Genesis 2:24)
b. Emphasises the unity and oneness of marriage (becoming one flesh)
c. Highlights the divine origin and sanctioning of marriage (what God has joined together)
d. Implies the permanence and indissolubility of marriage (let no one separate)
Marriage is a commitment you make for life. It is a permanent lifelong relationship. Understanding marriage as a lifelong commitment even when it is hard and painful is the biblical understanding of marriage.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist).
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC)
Relationship
7 things Easter story teaches about marriage, relationships

This time of the year, we reflect quite a bit on the Easter story—the story of Christ’s betrayal, His sacrifice, His death, and ultimately, the Resurrection that changed the course of history and mankind’s relationship with the Creator.
But what does this have to do with marriage or relationships?
If marriage or relationships were meant to reflect the image of God, then there is no better example than Christ, the living embodiment of God’s love.
Through His sacrifice, He showed that love for each other and even for Him was not enough.
Here are seven things we can learn about marriage or relationships from Easter.
1. Betrayal can come from those we love and trust the most.
Jesus knew this all too well. Judas-one of the 12, the few in Jesus’ inner circle—betrayed Him by turning Him in to the chief priests.
Betrayal hurts. When it comes from someone we love and trust, it cuts all the deeper. And some of your deepest pain will likely come from your spouse or the person closest to you.
No marriage or relationship is immune. But it is your response to the offense has to reflect the faith and trust we have in Christ.
2. We are not above betraying the ones we love
Peter was passionate about his relationship with Christ. When Jesus told Peter he would disown Him three times before the rooster crowed, Peter just could not fathom it. “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” Peter told Him. Yet, before the night had ended, Peter “wept bitterly” after he denied His Savior not once, but three times (Matthew 26:34-75).
Matthew 26:41 tells us “The spirit indeed is willing. Sometimes it is unintentional, words often rush out before my brain can catch up. Other times, the words that cut deep leave your lips without fully assessing the damage they will cause. None of us are above hurting our spouse or friends, no matter how much we try.
3. Others won’t believe your marriage/ relationship can be saved
As they gazed upon the suffering Christ, the chief priests mocked Him. “He saved others; he cannot save himself,” they said. “Let the Christ, the King of Israel, come down now from the cross that we may see and believe” (Mark 15:31- 32). The sad irony of their words is that because they refused to believe, they would never see their own salvation on that cross.
Most cultures are a brutal place to try to save a dying marriage. Not only do an increasing number of people not believe in the lasting power of marriage, many will gladly take a front seat to watch your marriage die. They will mock you and your spouse and say divorce is a better option.
Protect your relationship by surrounding yourself with people who encourage your marriage rather than dragging it down.
4. Marriage/relationship takes sacrifice.
Jesus knew what was coming. He prayed in Gethsemane, “My father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39). Later, before He was nailed to the cross, “they offered him wine to drink, mixed with gall, but when he tasted it, he would not drink it” (Matthew 27:34). The wine concoction offered to Jesus was one typically offered to slightly ease the pain of those condemned to death. Jesus refused to numb even a fraction of the sacrifice He was about to make.
It sometimes seems like a no-brainer that we would give our lives for our spouses. But what about in the day to day? Are you willing to sacrifice your comfort, your preferences, even being right for your spouse?
On a much smaller level, sacrificing yourself for your spouse is putting their best interests above your own through a series of choices that can seem insignificant.
5. Marriage/relationship takes forgiveness.
Jesus’ sacrifice guaranteed God’s forgiveness for those who love Him. Even through the pain of the cross, He called out on behalf of those who crucified Him. “Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do’” (Luke 23:34).
Forgiveness is not just something we have been given, it is also something we, as followers of Christ, are told to do. In Colossians, Paul says, “As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (3:13). Your spouse is going to mess up. A lot. You are too, perhaps even more. A good marriage involves a lot of asking for, giving, and receiving forgiveness.
6. Marriage/relationship takes faith
After the tomb was found empty, Jesus appeared to His disciples. Thomas was not there. And when the others told him they had seen the Lord, Thomas was skeptical.
“Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.” A week later, Thomas found himself face-to-face with Jesus, who offered his hands to Thomas. “Do not disbelieve,” Jesus told him, “but believe” (John 20:24-29).
There have been times it was a struggle to find the good in your marriage or relationship. It was like trying to find a match in the darkness. Most at times you will not see things getting any better. Holding on when you want to let go takes faith. Even a little.
7. We all need a Saviour
The apostle John recorded the last words Jesus spoke on the cross to be, “It is finished” (John 19:30). Finished was His atonement for our sins. No one else could have paid the heavy debt we carried but the Son of God.
Marriage/relationship is a blessing, but make no mistake, it is hard at times. You and your spouse can not do it on your own strength and determination.
Much like the criminal hanging next to Jesus who said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom” (Luke 23:42), you need to recognise the need for a Savior. And much like the disciples who were standing before their risen Lord, you need Him to breathe life into you (and into your marriage) with the Holy Spirit (John 20:22).
Your spouse needs Jesus as much as you do—no more, no less. Remembering this can help you view him or her differently. —familylife. com
Relationship
Tips on building and maintaining healthy relationships
When you commit to taking up a new habit, it is essential to have a clear plan of action before you begin. Start with a long-term goal and keep it S.M.A.R.T: S- Specific M-Measurable A- Achievable R-Relevant and T- Timely
Habit Stacking
Habit Stacking is exactly what it sounds like: putting two or more habits together. We recommend choosing times of the day when routines are strongest. For most people, this is usually the morning or before bed. We know day-to-day life can get a little crazy, but there are certain times when patterns are created, making them the perfect place for a positive change.
The best way to form a new habit is to tie it in with an existing one.
Baby steps
Many experts agree that significant changes require high motivation levels, which can be hard to sustain. Instead, you should start with a slight change that will eventually lead to something bigger.
You can transition to something bigger once you have successfully implemented daily habits for a designated amount of time.
Consistency
Consistency is key. To make something a habit, you need to do it every day. We have all heard the magic ‘21 day’ fix, but the fact of the matter is, it’s not one size fits all.
Celebrate success
Perhaps the most important part of habit-making is rewarding yourself. We know habits take time, but in order to not give up, you need to celebrate every win.
Find the thing you love and allow yourself to experience it once you’ve hit a milestone on your habit-forming journey. Sometimes, the results of habits are not immediately apparent. Do not give up!