Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am aged 39, our marriage is two years old. I am sincerely worried about the changes in my wife. I got married to my wife who was slim and very beautiful but after the birth of our first child, she suddenly became fat.

She looks entirely like a differ­ent person to me. I have pleaded with her to hit the gym and also reduce her food intake, suggesting she eat only once a day.

I even went on to register her in a gym myself and pressurised her to be serious with it but she only went for a week and stopped, saying it’s stressful and still eating more than once a day.

I only make love to my wife when I am drunk, as I no longer find her sweet and attractive. As a result, I am having an affair with a lady I met on social media two months ago and she is pregnant.

I am confused because I did not intend to have a broken marriage. I sincerely love my wife, but her new size is sincerely a turn-off for me. Honestly, I am pleading for your assistance on how to tackle this situation.

Mr Owusu,

Techiman.

Dear Owusu,

You should understand that pregnancy and childbirth comes with a lot of changes and challenges.

People lose their lives whilst giving birth, others lose their teeth and some become paralysed for the rest of their lives.

If the basis for marrying your wife was because of her stature, then it’s highly possible you didn’t love her because these body chang­es are meant to happen.

You cannot tell an elderly wom­an to eat once a day just because you want her shape back.

You can convince her to exercise but not to compel her against her will.

And how sure are you that the other woman will not go through these changes when she gives birth as well.

It means you will end up moving from one woman to the other.

If you really cherish your wife and don’t want a broken home, then inform her about the other woman and the child she is expect­ing. Be responsible for the child and end the affair with the other woman.

Be ready to accept the current stature of your wife and enjoy your marriage.

Dear Obaa Yaa,

We have been friends for the past two years and our parents know about our relationship. Her parents have even asked me to perform the mar­riage customary rites.

Recently, my mother returned from the hometown and told me that she has found a girl for me to marry.

I tried to convince her that I was not interested in any girl apart from my present one, but she won’t listen.

My father, however, told me that he would support whatever decision I take.

My uncle then said that I should respect my mother’s decision and go by it.

I can’t do that because I promised to marry my girl, besides my girl has spent so much money on me when I was down finan­cially and was not working.

Apart from that we never had any disagreement because we love each other. How do I convince my mother that she is the right girl for me.

Barima,

Bogoso

Dear Barima,

You should let your mother explain to you why she doesn’t like your cur­rent girlfriend and is ready to give you a new lady.

If your mother is currently accusing the lady of so many things try and probe further.

If you are convinced that your mother’s attitude is as a result for dislike she has for your current girl, then you must include the support of your father or a pastor.

But if you figure out that your mother is after your interest, then you and your girl­friend would need a lot of prayers. Which means the two of you, would have change your lifestyle altogether and devote yourself to prayers to get rid of whatever is going on.

It will be a great commitment but efforts will be rewarding. If you are convinced that you can handle it, then go ahead and marry your girl. Your mother will eventually come to accept her when she realises that your wife is making you happy