Obaa Yaa
My mother is bitter
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My elder sister and her boyfriend want to settle down in September but there is some confusion over who will give out the marriage list. My mother thinks my father does not deserve that honour because he had abandoned us for the past 15 years.
The two-bedroom self-contained house in which we live belongs to my father. He owns other houses also which my mother has rented out. My mother is threatening to disown my sister if she involves our father in the marriage arrangements.
Our father has apologised to us and we have forgiven him but I do not know why mom is still bitter. We have tried to convince her but she will not listen to us. What do we do?
Mabel, Kasoa.
Dear Mabel,
Irrespective of whatever happened in the past, your father still has a place in the marriage ceremony. Once he is alive, he has to take the bride price and bless the marriage. However, your mother may be bitter because she might have endured a lot of challenges in the last 15 years when your father was ‘absent’.
Engage your mother once again and help her to forgive your father so they both can support the marriage ceremony. You and your siblings can as well talk to elders in your family to talk to your mother. Hopefully, things will work out because your father’s blessing is important in the marriage. But if all possible resolutions fail, respect your mother’s decision.
Obaa Yaa
He squats like a girl to urinate
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a single parent trying to raise my three children – two girls and a boy aged six, five and two.
I am not worried about money to take care for them because I am gainfully employed. The problem is that my little boy has not been urinating in the manner males do.
He has been squatting like how females do. I don’t know how to teach him since he does not allow me.
How do I handle such a situation?
Sandra, Sunyani.
Dear Freda,
Your boy is simply imitating his sisters and he is used to squatting while urinating.
This is not an issue you should be worried about. Continue to educate him that boys don’t squat; rather they stand and urinate.
When he grows up and sees his peers standing up to urinate, he’d learn to do the same.
Don’t get worried. Little kids change over time.
Obaa Yaa
Is he cheating on me?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My husband and I have been together for six years now. Recently when he came from town I asked him for money to buy something.
He directed me to bring the trousers but he later changed his mind and reached for the trousers himself.
Interestingly, I got the trousers first and when I removed his wallet, it came out together with a condom.
I asked him what he was doing with the condom because we don’t use it at home.
He told me to stop worrying him about it and never answered the question.
Esi Atta,
Krobo.
Dear Esi,
I AM afraid your husband might be cheating on you, but be thankful that he always has a condom in hand.
Try and discuss your fears with him and give him more attention.
Maybe he is not getting enough satisfaction at home and wants to go a bit extra-marital.
I hope you would not be too pissed off though. Take it cool, discuss the problem, and I believe that once he has been exposed, he would take steps to change.
But as I stated earlier, be thankful that he is a fan of condoms.
