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Obaa Yaa

My mother is stressing me.

Dear Obaa Yaa,

We have been friends for the past two years and our parents know about our relationship. Her parents have even asked me to perform the mar­riage customary rites.

Recently, my mother returned from the hometown and told me that she has found a girl for me to marry.

I tried to convince her that I was not interested in any girl apart from my present one, but she won’t listen.

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My father, however, told me that he would support whatever decision I take.

My uncle then said that I should respect my mother’s decision and go by it.

I can’t do that because I promised to marry my girl, besides my girl has spent so much money on me when I was down finan­cially and was not working.

Apart from that we never had any disagreement because we love each other. How do I convince my mother that she is the right girl for me.

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Barima,

Bogoso

Dear Barima,

You should let your mother explain to you why she doesn’t like your cur­rent girlfriend and is ready to give you a new lady.

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If your mother is currently accusing the lady of so many things try and probe further.

If you are convinced that your mother’s attitude is as a result for dislike she has for your current girl, then you must include the support of your father or a pastor.

But if you figure out that your mother is after your interest, then you and your girl­friend would need a lot of prayers. Which means the two of you, would have change your lifestyle altogether and devote yourself to prayers to get rid of whatever is going on.

It will be a great commitment but efforts will be rewarding. If you are convinced that you can handle it, then go ahead and marry your girl. Your mother will eventually come to accept her when she realises that your wife is making you happy

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Obaa Yaa

 Am I wicked?

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

I met and befriended another girl when my girlfriend trav­elled out of the country. I made her to understand that my first girl was more or less my wife, so marriage would be out of the question between us, and she understood.

My girl would be returning home within a few months, and this other girl is now saying that she would rather break up with me.

She also has been sending friends to talk to me and to plead on her behalf.

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The girl is again saying that I am a wicked person without feelings, and that I have used her. I know that she wants me to feel guilty, but I don’t.

Am I actually wicked like she’s saying?

Efua

Swedru,

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Dear Efua,

Yes, I do believe that somehow you have treated the girl badly, and the fact that you are almost man and wife does not make you guiltless, because the end result is that you only used her to pass the time of waiting for the return of your first girl.

You can at least try and be nice to her and let her go gen ­tly.

But don’t make things worse by prolonging the relations

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Obaa Yaa

Dad says he won’t pay my fees

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am facing a big problem which is threatening my education and life as well.

I am in my last year in secondary school but my father is threatening to stop paying my school fees for reasons I cannot disclose.

I am appealing through you to any person or organisation to come to my rescue to help me continue with my education.

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 I am ready for any job, be it a driver or houseboy. I am a worried person. Please help.

Benson, Accra.

Dear Benson,

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You are ready to become a houseboy or a driver in someone else’s house and must be ready to do anything for your father to change his mind.

I suggest you go down on your knees and own up for what you have done and ask for his forgiveness.

Bear in mind that times are hard, not only in this country. Most people do not even get regular meals, so if apart from food and clothes, you are lucky to be receiving secondary education, then you have to be grateful to your parents and concentrate on your studies.

If you are still keen on continuing with your education, then go and tell the whole story to an elderly person and ask him to accompany you to your father and apologise.

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