Relationship
Relationship tips …advice for single men
Finding the person you want to spend forever with is never easy, but with these tips, you will be on the road to finding your soulmate.
1. Work on Yourself First
No matter how amazing we might be, there is surely some baggage. Could be hang-ups from past relationships gone awry. Or personal goals that have been neglected that hang over your heads.
Regardless, being the best version of yourself will make it easier to find the one you have been looking for, and you will be better mentally and emotionally prepared to accept them when you do.
2. Do not let history repeat itself
There is probably a reason your other relationships have not worked out, and it can be hard to sit and reflect on this kind of stuff. But figuring out where you have gone wrong in the past — whether it is picking the wrong person or the way you approached the relationship — will make it easier to make better decisions going forward so you do not ruin a good thing.
3. Make a List or Two
Take some time to think about what you want your life to look like and what you want from a partner. Figuring out the things that are truly important to you will help you weed out people who just will not fit with the picture you want to paint. It is a good idea to consider potential deal-breakers as well.
4. Be Flexible
…nothing is written in stone. Even if you have your lists, things change. And when you meet the right person, sometimes what seemed like a deal-breaker before may not bother you at all now. Be respectful of the fact that your needs and desires might change. It’s important to have a good idea of what you’re looking for before putting yourself out there, of course, but being willing to go with the flow is equally as important.
5. Be Honest From the Beginning
If there is one thing that will sink your happily-ever-after before it even begins, it’s getting off on the wrong foot by being dishonest.
Whether you are discussing your past, present, or future, telling the truth will show you who is interested in the real you. Plus, imagine the consequences if you actually do get serious with this person. How would you explain your way out of an epic lie? (“What? You are not a marine biologist?)
6. Communication Is Key
Communication is one of the most important parts of a successful relationship — and also one of the most challenging. Maintaining clarity and honesty from the beginning will make both of your lives and your future relationship easier, trust us. When you are looking to settle down, especially when kids will be involved, being open, honest, and clear with each other is essential.
-Source: heybaby.com
Relationship
When the tides change (Pt. 2)
Psst! Psst! Lean in closer… closer! Now listen, silence is golden, or so they say.
But when the Tale Bearer arrives with news from yonder, that golden silence suddenly turns into a shiny distraction you cannot ignore. So here I am, bearing tales from the gods, hot, fresh and ready for your ears!
Have you heard? Wonder Boy’s new status has him soaking wet like a sponge at a waterpark. And, oh boy, is he loving it! Ehem! Now, he is serenading us with a tune that has gotten us laughing and jeering mockingly ‘Johnny Just Come’, Johnny just come. Hehehe!
Who knew the rulers of the mighty kingdom of Umofia are living it up like royalty, while the rest of us are out here playing catch-up with life? Ah, life, the greatest comedian, always leaving us laughing, but with tears in our eyes.
Come to think of it, Umofians, the gods are clearly watching over us and this is their way of saying ‘wake up, Umofians! ‘He who does not see the clouds cannot predict the rain’. Well the clouds are gathering, pay ye heed.
Now, tell me, if our rulers have managed to build themselves a palace in the sky, should we, the children of Umofia, not ask for our fair share of the clouds? Should we not demand our own seat among the stars? Who knows, perhaps soon we shall all be sipping palm wine under the shade, enjoying the breeze together as equals.
Honourable Wonder Boy, if you think you are too small to make a difference, try spending the night with a mosquito. We the Umofians gave you a seat at the table of the rulers to speak on our behalf because we believe in you.
A word to the wise is enough, now show us you are not just another ‘Johnny Just Come, but the one who can stir the pot and serve justice hot! This is your moment, do not let it pass you by!
Tell your people that Umofians gave them the power, they should remember; power is like salt—use it too much, and it will spoil the whole food. Tell them oo, the people can snatch the power back quicker than a hare can outrun a tortoise.
Ah well! My elders always say, “Home affairs are best kept behind closed doors, not shouted from the public square.” So, I shall take my leave now before I turn into the village crier.
Until next time, keep your ears open.
With Eyram, the Tale bearer.
Relationship
Preparation for your marriage ceremony
A wedding day is one that many dream of—a day filled with love, joy, and excitement as two people commit to a shared future. Yet, the importance of this day goes far beyond the flowers, the venue, or even the vows.
As thrilling as it may be, a wedding is the start of a lifelong journey, not a one-day event.
Before this life-changing commitment, pause. Reflect on your reasons for marrying. Ensure you’re as ready for the marriage as for the wedding. The ceremony is beautiful, but it’s just the beginning.
This chapter will outline steps to guide you. They will help you plan a wonderful wedding. They will also prepare you for your marriage and the adventure ahead.
With divorce rates high in many parts of the world, it’s more important than ever to make intentional and thoughtful preparations for marriage. These steps aim to show you the way. They cover your relationship from its start to the wedding and beyond.
Practical Steps for Preparing for Your Marriage and Wedding Day
Let’s break down preparing for marriage into actionable tips. They will assist both your wedding day and, more importantly, your future marriage.
- Clarify Your Personal Intentions and Expectations
Take the time to understand why you want to get married. Reflect on questions such as, “What does marriage mean to me?” and “What kind of partner do I want to be?”
Make sure your reasons for marriage go beyond a desire for companionship or society’s expectations. They should align with deeper values.
- Set Aside Time for Pre-Marital Counselling
Consider participating in pre-marital counselling sessions. As a marriage and family therapist, I know that counselling offers a safe space. It can help address conflicts, discuss family backgrounds, and develop key communication tools for the future.
- Communicate Openly About Expectations for Married Life
Discuss your expectations of your roles in the marriage. Talk about financial goals, family dynamics, and career aspirations. Also, consider other factors that could affect your relationship. Open communication helps prevent misunderstandings down the line. Clear communication today builds trust for tomorrow.
- Align Financial Goals and Habits
Talk about financial matters, including income, spending habits, saving strategies, and financial goals. Money issues often cause marital conflict. So, build transparency and teamwork in this area.
- Plan for Practicalities Together
Deliberate on living arrangements, daily routines, and other practical aspects of married life. Decide together how household responsibilities will be shared. These actionable conversations help establish routines and expectations that will benefit you both.
- Establish Boundaries with Extended Family Members
Define healthy boundaries for your interactions with family and their involvement in your lives. Setting boundaries early on will help prevent tension with in-laws or extended family, a common issue in marriage.
- Create a Shared Vision for the Future
Spend time talking about the vision you have for your life together. Develop a “relationship mission statement” that expresses your shared values, goals, and dreams. This vision will act as a strategic guide for your marriage. A strong marriage is built on a shared vision, not just shared experiences.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). ORDER BOOK NOW: https://selar.co/preparing-for-a-happy-and-fulfilling-marriage
https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
