Features
Resilience is a choice
The other day I saw a corn springing out of the overhead at Mallam at the end of George Walker Bush Highway in Accra. Whenever we see a plant or a wildflower pushing through a crack in concrete, we marvel at its determination to thrive. A seed landed in a difficult spot, but it had the tenacity to grow and bloom anyway.
We feel the same rush of admiration for trees that spring up after a devastating fire. When everything seemed ruined, somehow nature won, and life continued.
Many of us are like those determined seeds, those persistent trees. We’ve found ourselves in a difficult spot, or we’ve experienced a devastating tragedy: financial or health losses, death of loved ones, lost opportunities. Can we possibly grow and bloom in such conditions?
Religious leader, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, said, “It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself that determines how your life’s story will develop”.
Our attitudes really can make all the difference. A woman who lost her restaurant during the pandemic immediately set up a takeout company. She made ends meet until she finally grew it into a catering business. She worked hard and refused to give up, and her determination paid off.
A couple also survived decades of overwhelming challenges. They joked that if they didn’t have bad luck, they’d have no luck at all! But through it all; health problems, heartache, even the loss of several children, they have shown traits of survivors. They tried to look for the positive in every situation. They thought about others more than themselves. They turned to God for peace and comfort. And they have learnt to serenely accept that there were certain things they simply could not change.
And we all know people whose early childhood seemed to have set them up for failure, yet they defied the odds and joyfully built a happy, successful life. In their adversities, they learned to forgive, to take responsibility for their own growth, and to be resilient. As the expression goes, instead of cursing the rain, they built a boat.
Among the many things we can’t choose about our life, we can always choose our goals, our work ethics, and our attitudes. Even setbacks, though we’d never choose them, can be blessings when they lead us to explore other avenues. Most of the time, we are grateful for the better jobs we landed after we were laid off, or the compassion we felt towards the grief-stricken after our own period of grieving.
Helen Keller is a remarkable example of someone who overcame the incredible disadvantages of being both blind and deaf. She did not only learned to sign and speak, she became a worldwide inspirational leader also. From her unique perspective, she observed, “Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it”
We all have our share of difficulty and tragedy in life. Some of us, in fact, seemed to have had more than our share. And then there are people who somehow, against all odds, survive multiple seemingly impossible situations.
Challenges happen for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes they are the consequences of our own actions. Other times we are the victims of the poor choices of others. But most of the time, heartaches and adversities come upon us randomly—accidents, illnesses, misfortune. No one is to blame; they just happen.
Regardless of their sources, such hardship can either make us bitter, or in some cases better. What makes the difference? Why do some people become angry and resentful after experiencing adversity, while others become more accepting, even forgiving? Of course, we can’t see the inside of other people’s hearts, or pass judgement on their life journey. But experts have observed that resilient people, “survivors,” share certain traits: they are optimistic, selfless, and spiritual, and they accept what can’t be changed.
In a sense, each of us is a survivor. We all have these traits inside of us to one degree or another. We may not know when the next challenge will come, but the best way to prepare to survive whatever life brings is to think positively, turn outward in selflessness, deepen our relationship with God, and learn to accept what can’t be changed. In other words, we can do our best to develop the traits of a survivor.
By Samuel Enos Eghan
Email: samueleghan@gmail.com
Features
Mysteries of this world
A young boy was travelling on a school trip to Mountain Afadja and his younger brother asked him to buy him meat pie when returning home from the journey. On their way back to Accra, he saw a vendor with meat pie and he moved quickly towards the front of the vehicle to buy one through the window.
A few seconds later, a vehicle smashed into the back of the bus where he was moments before and the aftermath was a disaster. His desire to honour his promise to his younger brother, saved him from death.
A lot of the students at the rear area of the bus died. Such is life and certain things are inexplicable. What made him see the meat pie vendor and leave the back seat towards the front of the bus, moments before the heavy truck crashed into the rear of the bus?
There are happenings in life that does not simply make sense and if you try to apply logical reasoning to them, they fail to explain why what happened.
Recently a young man who was working at a construction site decided to stop work briefly to get something to eat. On his way returning back, the whole three story building that he was working in had completely collapsed with a couple of his colleagues under the rubble.
Again the question is, why did he not delay his going out of the building for a few minutes which would have made him a victim of the incident? No logical explanation to this.
A cousin of mine was living in Takoradi during the early days of the 31st December revolution. One morning on his way to work, he was stopped by a soldier holding a gun and he told my cousin to get unto a truck parked by the roadside, ostensibly to join others already onboard to go do some job.
He was annoyed by someone just ordering him simply because he had authority. He brushed the gun aside and went past the truck heading towards his shop. According to him he heard behind him a gun being clocked and then he heard a soft voice telling him not to look back but continue along. He then hear people shouting “oh, oh” but he did not turn around to look back.
The place was a short distance from his refrigeration repair shop so he soon reached his shop. A few minutes after sitting down in front of his shop, people came rushing to him enquiring where he got his ‘power’ from. He asked them what they were talking about and they told him that the soldier clocked his gun to shoot him but as he suddenly started collapsing unto the ground.
This led them to believe that my cousin have some kind of juju powers, hence they asked him where he went for spiritual fortification. The intriguing question is, whose voice did he hear ordering him not to look back? It still baffles him up to this day.
The June 3rd disaster is another instance of a deliverance from certain death that my brother-in-law experienced. That afternoon he had gone to buy items for his JHS 3 son and as usual when going home, had gone to a store where he has some friends to chat with them for a while before going home.
After some few minutes, he decided to go home since he had been drenched by the drizzling that came after the earlier heavy rainfall. When he got home about 35 minutes later, he switched on the TV and a fire disaster that has burnt people to death as well as destroyed a fuel station, vehicles and buildings near the filling station, including the store where he had stopped to chat a short while ago. A voice had convinced him to leave the place and that was what saved him.
Being a Christian, I would attribute it to God but why he choose to deal with certain individuals and deliver them and the criteria for selection, is a mystery
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
Features
Navigating your emotional landscape: A journey of self-discovery and healing
Introduction
Our emotional landscape is a vast and intricate terrain, shaped by our experiences, thoughts, beliefs, and memories. It’s a world where our emotions, both conscious and unconscious reside, influencing our relationships, decisions, and overall well-being.
In this article, we’ll explore the concept of the emotional landscape, its components, and how understanding it can lead to greater self-awareness, emotional regulation, and healing.
The components of the emotional landscape
Our emotional landscape consists of various regions, each representing a different emotional state. These regions are shaped by our:
– Life experiences: Trauma, relationships, and significant events.
– Thoughts and beliefs: Positive or negative self-talk.
– Emotions: Joy, sadness, anger, fear, and more.
– Memories: Happy, painful, or neutral.
– Coping mechanisms: Healthy or unhealthy strategies for managing emotions.
Exploring your emotional landscape
To navigate your emotional landscape, start by:
– Identifying emotional patterns and triggers.
– Recognising areas for growth and healing.
– Developing emotional awareness and regulation.
– Cultivating self-compassion and acceptance.
Benefits of understanding your emotional landscape
By exploring and understanding your emotional landscape, you can:
– Gain greater self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
– Develop more effective coping mechanisms.
– Improve relationships and communication.
– Enhance emotional resilience and well-being.
– Unlock personal growth and transformation.
Conclusion
Navigating your emotional landscape is a journey of self-discovery and healing. By understanding the components of your emotional landscape and exploring its regions, you can gain a deeper connection with yourself and develop a more authentic, wholehearted existence.
Remember, your emotional landscape is unique and ever-changing, and embracing its complexities can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
BY ROBERT EKOW GRIMMOND-THOMPSON
