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Secrets to creating meaningful relationships (final)

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Relationships could either be a blessing or a lesson.

Suppose it works out, great. You’ve finally found the one! But if it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world either. You can learn from it. Failed relationships often teach you lessons that you might never know otherwise. They teach you about your shortcomings and how things ought to be handled when emotions are involved. A passing relationship, or a longer one; there’s always something to gain from them.

A few real friends over many fake ones

You don’t need a lot of people in your life to make it seem fulfilling. A few good, deep connections are all you need—a few people who you can trust and be yourself around.

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Learn the difference between love and lust

˜Lust is when you love only what you see. Love is when you lust what’s inside.’ If they desire you more than they desire being with you, it’s not going to last. It’s superficial and would burn out sooner than you think. Find something meaningful, something more than just skin deep.

Don’t fear being judged.

If you think you’re weird, don’t suppress it. Acknowledge and flaunt it. Who wants to blend in any way! Be yourself because you can’t please everyone. And no matter what you do, someone somewhere will always find fault in your tracks. So if you get to choose only one person you can please, that person should undoubtedly be you. If people can accept you for who you are, keep them. If they can’t, you were doing pretty well without them anyway.

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Be a better person than you were yesterday.

Do you want to find good, genuine people? Become one, and you’d cross paths with similar people. Become the person you’d like to be around. You can’t change people, and you shouldn’t. You only have control over yourself, and you can choose to be whoever you want to be, choose wisely!

Don’t allow negativity to creep into your relationship

Put so much positivity into your relationship that there is no room for negativity. Love with all your heart. Be good, have good. Treat your partner with love, respect, and kindness, and you’ll never worry about anything going wrong.

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Other people are a reflection of you.

If you’re critical of everyone else, you’re probably essential of yourself as well. But if you appreciate your strengths, you’ll find yourself looking for the same in other people. Choosing how you see yourself determines how you see other people.

Don’t try to change people.

You’re never comfortable around someone you can’t be yourself with; the same is true for other people. Stop suffocating them and don’t lead them into believing that they’re not good enough. Appreciate their qualities, and overlook their shortcomings. Love them for who they, indeed, are.

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Let go of the pain

If you hold on to pain and hurt, you can’t move on and find what is truly meant for you. They’re the very things holding you back. Even if you’ve been hurt, you still can find the love you deserve. But unless you’re willing to give it a chance to see you, it never will.

People make mistakes

You aren’t perfect, and neither is any other person alive. Accept them the way they are, to be accepted. Forgive their mistakes, to be forgiven when you do something wrong. After all, the mistakes you make teach you the lessons you need to learn. Stop giving people a hard time, and learn to forgive them.

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Source: www.dreamyhub.com

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Relationship

7 things Easter story teaches about marriage, relationships

• A good relationship involves a lot of forgiveness
• A good relationship involves a lot of forgiveness

This time of the year, we reflect quite a bit on the Easter story—the story of Christ’s betrayal, His sacrifice, His death, and ultimately, the Resur­rection that changed the course of history and mankind’s relationship with the Creator.

But what does this have to do with marriage or relationships?

If marriage or relationships were meant to reflect the image of God, then there is no better example than Christ, the living embodiment of God’s love.

Through His sacrifice, He showed that love for each other and even for Him was not enough.

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Here are seven things we can learn about marriage or relation­ships from Easter.

1. Betrayal can come from those we love and trust the most.

Jesus knew this all too well. Judas-one of the 12, the few in Jesus’ inner circle—betrayed Him by turning Him in to the chief priests.

Betrayal hurts. When it comes from someone we love and trust, it cuts all the deeper. And some of your deepest pain will likely come from your spouse or the person closest to you.

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No marriage or relationship is immune. But it is your response to the offense has to reflect the faith and trust we have in Christ.

2. We are not above betray­ing the ones we love

Peter was passionate about his relationship with Christ. When Jesus told Peter he would disown Him three times before the rooster crowed, Peter just could not fathom it. “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” Peter told Him. Yet, before the night had ended, Peter “wept bitterly” after he de­nied His Savior not once, but three times (Matthew 26:34-75).

Matthew 26:41 tells us “The spirit indeed is willing. Sometimes it is unintentional, words often rush out before my brain can catch up. Other times, the words that cut deep leave your lips without fully assessing the damage they will cause. None of us are above hurting our spouse or friends, no matter how much we try.

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3. Others won’t believe your marriage/ relationship can be saved

As they gazed upon the suffering Christ, the chief priests mocked Him. “He saved others; he cannot save himself,” they said. “Let the Christ, the King of Israel, come down now from the cross that we may see and believe” (Mark 15:31- 32). The sad irony of their words is that because they refused to believe, they would never see their own salvation on that cross.

Most cultures are a brutal place to try to save a dying marriage. Not only do an increasing number of people not believe in the lasting power of marriage, many will gladly take a front seat to watch your marriage die. They will mock you and your spouse and say divorce is a better option.

Protect your relationship by sur­rounding yourself with people who encourage your marriage rather than dragging it down.

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4. Marriage/relationship takes sacrifice.

Jesus knew what was coming. He prayed in Gethsemane, “My father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39). Later, before He was nailed to the cross, “they offered him wine to drink, mixed with gall, but when he tasted it, he would not drink it” (Matthew 27:34). The wine concoction offered to Jesus was one typically offered to slightly ease the pain of those condemned to death. Jesus refused to numb even a fraction of the sac­rifice He was about to make.

It sometimes seems like a no-brainer that we would give our lives for our spouses. But what about in the day to day? Are you willing to sacrifice your comfort, your preferences, even being right for your spouse?

On a much smaller level, sac­rificing yourself for your spouse is putting their best interests above your own through a series of choic­es that can seem insignificant.

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5. Marriage/relationship takes forgiveness.

Jesus’ sacrifice guaranteed God’s forgiveness for those who love Him. Even through the pain of the cross, He called out on behalf of those who crucified Him. “Jesus said, ‘Fa­ther, forgive them, for they know not what they do’” (Luke 23:34).

Forgiveness is not just something we have been given, it is also some­thing we, as followers of Christ, are told to do. In Colossians, Paul says, “As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (3:13). Your spouse is going to mess up. A lot. You are too, perhaps even more. A good marriage involves a lot of asking for, giving, and receiving forgiveness.

6. Marriage/relationship takes faith

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After the tomb was found empty, Jesus appeared to His disciples. Thomas was not there. And when the others told him they had seen the Lord, Thomas was skeptical.

“Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.” A week later, Thomas found himself face-to-face with Jesus, who offered his hands to Thomas. “Do not disbelieve,” Jesus told him, “but believe” (John 20:24-29).

There have been times it was a struggle to find the good in your marriage or relationship. It was like trying to find a match in the dark­ness. Most at times you will not see things getting any better. Holding on when you want to let go takes faith. Even a little.

7. We all need a Saviour

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The apostle John recorded the last words Jesus spoke on the cross to be, “It is finished” (John 19:30). Finished was His atonement for our sins. No one else could have paid the heavy debt we carried but the Son of God.

Marriage/relationship is a bless­ing, but make no mistake, it is hard at times. You and your spouse can not do it on your own strength and determination.

Much like the criminal hanging next to Jesus who said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom” (Luke 23:42), you need to recognise the need for a Savior. And much like the disciples who were standing before their risen Lord, you need Him to breathe life into you (and into your mar­riage) with the Holy Spirit (John 20:22).

Your spouse needs Jesus as much as you do—no more, no less. Re­membering this can help you view him or her differently. —familylife. com

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Tips on building and maintaining healthy relationships

 When you commit to taking up a new habit, it is essential to have a clear plan of action before you begin. Start with a long-term goal and keep it S.M.A.R.T: S- Specific M-Measurable A- Achievable R-Rele­vant and T- Timely

Habit Stacking

Habit Stacking is exactly what it sounds like: putting two or more habits together. We recom­mend choosing times of the day when routines are strongest. For most people, this is usually the morning or before bed. We know day-to-day life can get a little crazy, but there are certain times when patterns are created, mak­ing them the perfect place for a positive change.

The best way to form a new habit is to tie it in with an exist­ing one.

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Baby steps

Many experts agree that signif­icant changes require high moti­vation levels, which can be hard to sustain. Instead, you should start with a slight change that will eventually lead to something bigger.

You can transition to some­thing bigger once you have successfully implemented daily habits for a designated amount of time.

Consistency

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Consistency is key. To make something a habit, you need to do it every day. We have all heard the magic ‘21 day’ fix, but the fact of the matter is, it’s not one size fits all.

Celebrate success

Perhaps the most important part of habit-making is rewarding yourself. We know habits take time, but in order to not give up, you need to celebrate every win.

Find the thing you love and allow yourself to experience it once you’ve hit a milestone on your habit-forming journey. Some­times, the results of habits are not immediately apparent. Do not give up!

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