Obaa Yaa
She cannot keep secret
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I confided in a lady friend and narrated most of the challenges I was having in my relationship with her. Surprisingly, what I thought I was sharing in confidence is now the talk of town.
I have regretted sharing my concerns with her.
Quite recently, she did a similar thing to a friend who did not take kindly to it at all.
Now she is in trouble and I have to come in to settle the issue.
She is a good friend though but the only issue I have with her is her inability to keep secrets.
How do I help her to overcome this habit?
Stevo, Tema.
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Dear Stevo,
In the first place for how long have you known your said friend? Whether it has been long or quite recently, at least you should have studied her well enough before confiding in her.
Anyway, you have learnt your lesson and I hope next time you will see before you leap.
She has demonstrated that she cannot be trusted so you should be able to set a limit to the kind of conversations you have with her.
In order for her to overcome this habit without embarrassing herself, I suggest you have a talk with her on the need to control her tongue and also learn to appreciate the trust and confidence people repose in her.
Obaa Yaa
She doesn’t respect her mother
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my girlfriend at home, and I was a witness to a hot exchange between her and the mother.
In fact, my girl used such words on the mother that I was compelled to hit her to keep her quiet. She later told me that her mother made her to behave like that.
The surprising thing is that she seemed to be such a respectful person, and was always very polite to my mother and even help her in the kitchen when she visits me.
I have told her in plain language that our relationship is off, but she keeps begging and she has even promised not to quarrel with her mother again.
But I can’t forget the scene I saw and the fact is that, it was not the first time.
Do you think she can change?
I love her, but I want my children to have a respectful mother.
Agbesi, keta.
Dear Agbesi,
LET me say this to you, you took the right decision in ending the relationship because she might not change. However, that is for her to work it out, so don’t let it be your problem.
Even the Bible in Exodus 20:12 has a lot to say against children who are disrespectful to their parents.
You are lucky you found out in time the sort of person she is.
Obaa Yaa
He wants me to be his cousin
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My husband and I got married shortly after we completed senior high school. My mother then bought a ticket for him to go abroad where he went and stayed with my brother.
He went through some kind of marriage over there in order to get a good job, or so he said, and he asked me to be patient.
A few weeks ago, my husband wrote to say that he was coming home with his wife, and that I should pretend to be a cousin. I also heard they have a child.
I can’t do what he wants me to, even though everyone, including my mother thinks I should.
And I don’t want to be his wife only when he comes home. I want to join him over there because that was the arrangement.
Akweley, Accra
Dear Akweley,
Don’t let anyone force you into doing anything that you don’t want to do. If you can’t pretend, then don’t try.When you meet your husband, it is important to let him know how you feel about the arrangement.
And you will have to come to an agreement as to whether or not you want to continue with your marriage.
Whatever decision you come up to will not be easy for you, but do make sure that it is what is best for you.
• Kwabena kwabena in
