Features
The anxiety of parents
I had a call from my daughter and addressing me in her rather unusual but affectionate way, by my official name as usual, she greeted me and asked about how I was doing and I responded and we exchanged the usual pleasantries.
Then her next statement caused my heart to start pounding. She said “Daddy, I am going out on a date.” This is one of the moments every parent becomes filled with anxiety. It is just like when your adult child comes to tell you that “I have met someone I would like to marry”.
I then started asking about when she met him, how long she had known him etc. Then she said “Daddy, I am just pulling a prank on you” and I heaved a sigh of relief. Every parent will tell you that one of their fears is who their children will marry in future.
Fear of the unknown, is the issue that brings the anxiety. Will this man be a good husband to my daughter? Is there a terrible hereditary disease in his family? What are his parents like and would they be caring in-laws to my daughter etc. etc.
Most parents do not worry too much when their child is a man as opposed to a female child. Furthermore, boys do not bring pregnancy home so if they go out and come home late, parents do not worry too much compared to when Maggie or Agatha or Lucy goes out and comes home late.
Our culture makes it easier for men to opt out of relationships so parents do not worry too much when a male children come to introduce their would-be spouses to them and there is no need to add that spouse here refers to a female, since our culture does not tolerate the insane antisocial behaviour affecting some societies including African ones.
Marriage must be between a male and a female, a man and a woman, as God who instituted and ordained it. The girls fall in love easily compared to the boys who mostly walk into love. I have not conducted a survey but I strongly believe that females suffer from heartbreaks more than males because of their emotional nature.
Another dimension to this anxiety of parents is the issue of mental problems which in some instances can lead to suicidal tendencies. Mental cases resulting from mental breakdowns abound in our communities and the victims are mostly female.
A woman I met while walking with a friend was a victim of a mental breakdown. The friend I was walking with, exchanged pleasantries with the said lady and it was apparent that they knew each other very well.
My friend, after we had parted company with the woman, narrated how her husband was engaged in womanising which compelled the woman to take a revenge on him.
She decided that the best way to also hurt her husband’s feelings was to have an affair with the husband’s driver. The affair became known to the husband and she was divorced. The dress she was wearing and her general appearance when we met her on the street showed clearly that all was not well mentally with her.
It was so sad and as a parent I started praying into the future of my children that they would get the right partners, God-fearing people to marry.
Another anxiety of parents is the character of their children’s life partners. Would they be kind people? Will they be people with bad tempers? Will they be wife beaters?
Domestic abuse is common in our society and you will be surprised at the calibre of the perpetrators. Some are well educated people, nicely dressed, when you meet them in public places you will never suspect that they are wife beaters.
Some are even pastors and yet they ignore the teachings of the Bible and maltreat their spouses. It is not only men who abuse their spouses but some women are abusers as well.
May God grant us and our children the gift of spirit of discernment so our children will make the right choices for us to also endorse.
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
Features
The power of change: Understanding the process and catalysts
CHANGE is an inevitable and essential aspect of life, shaping individuals, organizations, and societies. It can be transformative, leading to growth, innovation, and progress. But how is change created?
This comprehensive article explores the process and catalysts of change.
The Change Process
The change process involves several stages:
1. Awareness: Recognising the need for change.
2. Assessment: Evaluating the current state.
3. Visioning: Envisioning the desired future state.
4. Planning: Developing strategies and action plans.
5. Implementation: Executing the plan.
6. Evaluation: Monitoring progress and making adjustments.
Catalysts of Change
Several factors can catalyse change:
1. Internal Motivation: Personal or organisational desire for improvement.
2. External Pressures: Market trends, technological advancements, or regulatory requirements.
3. Leadership: Visionary leaders driving change.
4. Crisis: Forced change due to unexpected events.
5. Innovation: New ideas and technologies.
Types of Change
Change can be:
1. Incremental: Gradual, small-scale changes.
2. Transformational: Radical, large-scale changes.
3. Strategic: Planned, deliberate changes.
4. Emergent: Spontaneous, unplanned changes.
Change Management
Effective change management involves:
1. Communication: Clear messaging and stakeholder engagement.
2. Training: Developing skills and knowledge.
3. Support: Providing resources and guidance.
4. Monitoring: Tracking progress and addressing challenges.
Resistance to Change
Resistance can arise due to:
1. Fear: Uncertainty and anxiety.
2. Habit: Comfort with the status quo.
3. Lack of Understanding: Insufficient information.
4. Power Dynamics: Threats to authority or control.
Overcoming Resistance
Strategies to overcome resistance include:
1. Education: Providing information and context.
2. Involvement: Engaging stakeholders in the change process.
3. Support: Addressing concerns and fears.
4. Leadership: Demonstrating commitment and vision.
Sustaining Change
To sustain change:
1. Embed Change: Integrate new practices and behaviors.
2. Monitor Progress: Continuously evaluate and adjust.
3. Celebrate Successes: Recognize achievements.
4. Maintain Momentum: Keep the change process moving.
Conclusion
Change is a complex and multifaceted process. Understanding the change process, catalysts, and management strategies can help individuals and organizations navigate and create meaningful change.
Recommendations
1. Develop a Change Mindset: Embrace change as an opportunity.
2. Build Change Capacity: Develop skills and resources.
3. Foster a Culture of Change: Encourage innovation and experimentation.
By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson
Features
This question of love
The question of love is something that will be talked about until kingdom come.
A discussion I observed on the internet about a 19 year old who had accepted the proposal of a 67 year old man reminded me of the preaching of Pastor Mensa Otabil.
He talked about the a scenario where a 60 year old man enters into a relationship with a 22 year old lady and the lady tells him I love you, when he has a protruded belly, with all the accompanying creases and he believes what she says.
He further went on to say that a whole grown up man, allows a young lady to call him “babe” and he does not feel offended.
He further went on to preach that, this young lady, young enough to be his daughter, says “babe, I love you” and this man sheepishly laughs and does not realise, he is being taken advantage of.
What keeps ringing in my ears is his statement that “what is there to love about a protruding sagging belly?”
There is no regulated way for how a person falls in love. It reminds me of a funny statement that Pastors or marriage counsellors often use, that if you fall in love, you may hurt yourself.
Love I believe is a beautiful thing but it is not something that should be toyed with. People getting into relationships should consider the realities that are bound to happen as the years go by.
Jealousy is a very destructive influence. It can influence a person to harm his wife or her husband or to even commit murder. There has been countless reported instances where a man has poured acid on his wife or girlfriend, slashed his wife to death with a cutlass because he suspected, the wife was cheating on him.
It is something that blinds one to right reasoning and once your reasoning stops functioning, then the wrong side of us takes over and the result is nothing to write home about. In most cases, it comes out after the horrible act has been perpetrated, that there was no truth in the issue that caused the jealousy, after all. However, a life would have been maimed, disfigured or destroyed forever.
One of the causes of jealousy in marriage is the age gap difference. Whether we like it or not we shall grow old one day if God by his grace enables us to live long. When we grow old, a lot of changes occur in our bodies and things we used to do with ease, suddenly become a huge challenge and it could be very frustrating.
One of the things that drives a man crazy is when he has grown weaker in bed and sees the wife interacting with younger men in a suspicious manner that seems to suggest that there is more to it than meets the eye.
Jealousy will definitely be kindled in the heart of such a man whose wife is far younger than him like this 67 year old man wanting to marry a 19 year young lady.
In 30 years’ time, this man will be 97 and his muscles would have become weaker affecting his erection. His wife would be 49 and will have to be satisfied in bed in a manner that this man cannot execute. What do you think is going to happen?
Marriage Counsellors advocate that the ideal age gap between marriage partners should not be more than 10 years. This is one way to eliminate suspicions which results in mistrust when the man grows old and gets weaker because it is a known fact that sex is very important to men than women.
A man becomes very worried when his sexual performance level drops. This is what causes some men to act in a manner that is condemnable. My advice, walk into love, don’t fall into it. God bless.
NB: ‘CHANGE KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO KOFI BAAKO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
