Obaa Yaa
They have a secret relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
A friend of mine introduced me to a young man few months ago. I accepted his proposal and we have dated for three years. But I discovered recently that my new boyfriend had dated my friend in the past.
They both tell me they are “just friends” but I notice they express their feelings towards each other during phone conversations. I have seen text messages to prove they have an affair.
My friend denied when I confronted her and insisted they are “just friends.” When I asked my fiance he got upset that I had read messages on his phone, but did not deny the secret relationship with my friend.
He told me if I wanted to maintain the relationship, I should not talk about the other lady. It appears I have been living in a fool’s paradise. I am gradually losing hope in him. I don’t know what to do.
Mavis, Taifa.
Dear Mavis,
Sometimes you need to let go of what you love so much if your love is not replicated. As long as your boyfriend did not deny the relationship, he is likely to continue the secret relationships with your friend. Don’t ‘lose hope’. If you feel you’re the ‘third party’ in the relationship, take a break and use the break to redirect yourself.
Obaa Yaa
They get on my nerves
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Both my wife and I are middle school leavers, but because her brothers are overseas, she goes abroad regularly. Because of that she has joined a certain class of people who believe that my wife is better educated than I am and therefore, look down on me.
The way she sometimes communicates with me is so annoying and makes me feel sad.
I overheard one of them asking my wife how she could marry an illiterate like me, and surprisingly she laughed at it as if it was a huge joke. When I confronted my wife afterwards, she denied everything.
I don’t want to divorce my wife, but her friends get on my nerves.
Please advise me.
Kwaku Teye, Konogo
Dear Kwaku Teye,
The current state of your wife is making her feel she is better than you. I can imagine how you feel. It is not fair for your wife to encourage her friends to make derogatory remarks about you.
However, do not make an issue out of it, especially as your wife has denied it.
I will advise you to talk to your wife to stay away from her friends if she really needs her marriage.
I will also plead with you to further your education if you have the means and resources.
Obaa Yaa
My friend has taken over my girl friend
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Sometime ago, I met a pretty girl, but I was too shy to approach her, so I asked a friend to talk to her on my behalf.
My friend came back and told me that after talking to the girl, he learned that she was no good so I should forget about her.
My friend, who is a born again, is always in the girl’s company. When I tackled him about it the first time, he told me that he was trying to get her to change.
They are almost inseparable now and my friend has been avoiding me. I want to confront him in the presence of the girl and embarrass him.
Will I be justified in my action?
Opoku Oware, Accra.
Dear Opoku Oware,
I WOULD not resort to any confrontations if I were you; it will only make you more miserable.
Admittedly, your friend did not behave well because in a way, he has betrayed you.
But don’t forget that he was under no obligation to chat up the girl for you, so don’t blame him.
The next time you see a girl that you fancy, just teem up confidence and boldness and walk up to her.
