• Pre-marital counselling involves couples coming together for joint therapy sessions

 Many times, pre-marital counsel­ling involves couples or part­ners coming together for joint therapy sessions. Working with a qual­ified marriage counsellor or therapist, you will learn skills to help improve your relationship as a couple.

At the same time, it is not all pre-marital counselling that leads to marriage. It is possible that certain discoveries (and major red flags) could emerge during the counselling ses­sions, and for that reason one of you may want to discontinue the marriage process so as to avoid any future regrets.

From my experience and profes­sional practice, I would say that no matter how painful it is to break up a relationship prior to marriage; it is still far better to do that than to break up your marriage relationship.

The marriage breakup has more serious implications than any pain that could emerge from relationship break up.

In some instances, the specific topics to be explored and skills to be developed in your pre-marital counsel­ling sessions will depend on your needs as a couple.

Despite this, I would give you all the topics and skills to expect your counsellor to take you through in order to have a happy and lasting relation­ship.

Even if you are not considering pre-marital counselling at the mo­ment, you can still benefit from these skills and topics. They are also an excellent way to create depth in your conversations and build a solid healthy foundation in the early stages of your relationship.

Not in any specific order, I would like you to take note of these import­ant skills and lessons you will learn in your sessions: 1 understanding the concept of marriage, 2 building a strong foundation for your marriage, 3 examining your expectations leading to your marriage, 4 undergoing medi­cal tests and sometimes mental health assessment, 5 resolving conflicts together, 6 communicating openly and effectively, 7 taking decisions as a couple, 8. building a strong Christian home (if you’re Christians), 9 building transparency and trust, 10 knowing yourselves: your strengths and weak­nesses—and how to improve them, 11 building commitment towards the marriage and each other, 12 accepting your unique roles and responsibilities in your marriage, 13 planning your future together, 14 sexual intimacy in marriage, 15 bearing and raising chil­dren, 16 understanding the concept of love, 17 the role of love languages in experiencing marital happiness, 18 managing your home finances, 19 defining your beliefs and values, 20 adjustments in marriage, 21 balancing love, work, and family life, 22 relating with your in-laws and third parties, 23 creating your unique marriage and family rituals, 24 engaging married couples to learn from them, 25 under­standing divorce and what causes it, 26 Christian view on divorce, 27 pre­paring for your marriage ceremony, 28 planning for your honeymoon and how to maximise it, and finally, 29 making your first year of marriage count.

To be continued …

Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprin­ceass.wixsite.com/edu-counsel­ing-psych

https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist

https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website

COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAIN­ING INSTITUTE)

 We spend around a third of our lives at work. Our jobs and careers make a real impact on our overall levels of happiness. Having good work relationships will always make our jobs more enjoyable

Also, when we have great work­place relationships we will demon­strate cooperation, trust and fair­ness, activating the reward centre of our brains which encourages even more positive interactions.

Here are some tips to create healthy relationships at the work­place.

1. Focus on self-awareness

This means taking full responsi­bility for your words and actions, not letting your own negative emotions impact the people around us.

If you feel frustration or resent­ment towards others this will mani­fest in what you observe and the way you engage.

By developing your own Emotional Intelligence, you will become more adept at identifying and handling your emotions be able to recognise the needs of others.

Again, if you view colleagues with compassion and respect, you will improve your interactions and build strong working relationships.

What would happen if you stopped making judgments and em­braced a positive appraisal of your co-workers? If we saw difference as something valuable that could be harnessed and actually enhance your perception and understanding of those around you? Your vibe will always attract your tribe.

2. Be open and honest

A good relationships depend on open, honest communication. Wheth­er you are sending emails or meeting face-to-face or on video calls, the more effectively you communicate with those around you, the better you will connect. It is important to identify the nature of your relation­ships with others.

What is it that we need and what do our colleagues need from us? Once you know the fundamentals of what you need you can be clear with com­municating and better understanding each other’s requirements.

3. Practice active listening

Good people skills are essential. How good are you at collaborat­ing, communicating and managing challenge? People respond better to those who truly listen to what they have to say. By practicing active lis­tening, you will talk less and under­stand colleagues more and you will quickly become trustworthy and have more successful interactions.

One key skill you can forget when listening is the power of a good ques­tion. Active listening is engaging in what you hear, asking questions such as ‘What would you like to happen?’ How can I help you address that? Shows you listen and you care.

4. Avoid bad people skills

Good people skills mean avoiding the bad people skills. Gossip and negativity can ruin any workplace relationships. If you are experi­encing challenge with someone in your group, talk to them directly and kindly about the problem, be prepared to listen attentively and objectively.

Gossiping or colluding with other colleagues will only aggravate the issues, accelerating mistrust and animosity.

5. Give praise and feedback

Everyone wants to feel that their work is appreciated and to feel truly valued. Genuinely complimenting the work and actions of those around you is a great way to build relation­ships.

Be honest, precise and authentic when delivering praise. Thank you or a gentle word of encouragement can make all the difference to someone’s day. These positive interactions can have a ripple effect and create a much happier and more successful workplace