Should l marry his friend?

Dear Obaa Yaa,

We have been married for two years and were happy from the beginning.

At that time, my happiness was the utmost desire of my husband but suddenly he began to disassociate himself from anything that concerns my happiness.

I am a pharmacist and my husband works at a reputable company.

Though my husband is very supportive and hardworking, his current behaviour has started to affect me greatly, and I am beginning to lose interest in him.

I met this new friend who has shown interest in me and does everything possible to make sure that I am always happy.

I am beginning to develop feelings and affections for him, and even considering to marry him so that I can achieve my happiness.

Should I go ahead and marry him or I should wait for my husband with the hope that he will change?

Roberta, Accra

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Dear Roberta,

There is no situation that is permanent in this world so you must be prepared to accept the fact that people can change over time.

Since your husband was very supportive, loving and caring from the beginning but has suddenly changed, you must be sincere to yourself and find out whether your behaviour has caused him to change.

Though your friend has been good to you and ensured that you are happy, that should not lead to marriage.

So far as you are still married to your husband, you will compound your problem if you go ahead and marry this gentleman.

First of all, it will destroy the relationship between the three of you.

What is the guarantee that the love this gentleman is expressing will last? Have you forgotten how your husband loved you at the beginning of your relationship?

Do not take any hasty decision because you can’t tell what will happen in future.

Your husband could change while this gentleman could be a pretender, an opportunist or something else.

A pretender will exhibit his true character when he gets what he is looking for.

Kindly hold onto what you have, no matter how bad it may look.

My mother is stressing me.

Dear Obaa Yaa,

We have been friends for the past two years and our parents know about our relationship. Her parents have even asked me to perform the marriage customary rites.

Recently, my mother returned from the hometown and told me that she has found a girl for me to marry.

I tried to convince her that I was not interested in any girl apart from my present one, but she won’t listen.

My father, however, told me that he would support whatever decision I take.

My uncle then said that I should respect my mother’s decision and go by it.

I can’t do that because I promised to marry my girl, besides my girl has spent so much money on me when I was down financially and was not working.

Apart from that we never had any disagreement because we love each other. How do I convince my mother that she is the right girl for me.

Barima,

Bogoso

Dear Barima,

You should let your mother explain to you why she doesn’t like your current girlfriend and is ready to give you a new lady.

If your mother is currently accusing the lady of so many things try and probe further.

If you are convinced that your mother’s attitude is as a result for dislike she has for your current girl, then you must include the support of your father or a pastor.

But if you figure out that your mother is after your interest, then you and your girlfriend would need a lot of prayers. Which means the two of you, would have change your lifestyle altogether and devote yourself to prayers to get rid of whatever is going on.

It will be a great commitment but efforts will be rewarding. If you are convinced that you can handle it, then go ahead and marry your girl. Your mother will eventually come to accept her when she realises that your wife is making you happy

Obaa Yaa

Am I wicked?

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I met and befriended another girl when my girlfriend travelled out of the country. I made her to understand that my first girl was more or less my wife, so marriage would be out of the question between us, and she understood.

My girl would be returning home within a few months, and this other girl is now saying that she would rather break up with me.

She also has been sending friends to talk to me and to plead on her behalf.

The girl is again saying that I am a wicked person without feelings, and that I have used her. I know that she wants me to feel guilty, but I don’t.

Am I actually wicked like she’s saying?

Efua

Swedru,

Dear Efua,

Yes, I do believe that somehow you have treated the girl badly, and the fact that you are almost man and wife does not make you guiltless, because the end result is that you only used her to pass the time of waiting for the return of your first girl.

You can at least try and be nice to her and let her go gen tly.

But don’t make things worse by prolonging the relations