Mummy dislikes my boyfriend who feeds me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 17 years old and an apprentice seamstress. I have a boyfriend who is 22 years old and a mechanic.

Obaa Yaa, the problem is that my mother does not like this boy at all.

She says he is a rascal. Meanwhile, it is this same rascal who has paid for my dressmaking course and feeds me two times in a day.

He even gives me money for transportation since our place at Abeka is far from where I am currently learning.

I am disturbed because my mother shows her dislike openly to this boy. I am afraid he will just leave me and I will lose all these benefits. What should I do?

Comfort,

Abeka -,Accra.

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Dear Comfort,

If your boyfriend is truly a rascal, then your mother has a point.

She is seeing it from the angle that he might put you into trouble one day, irrespective of the things he has been doing for you.

However, if you truly believes he is genuine and loves you, I would suggest you talk to your mother in a calm manner and explain things to her.

You can politely ask your mother to give him time and study him slowly so that she would realise that he is actually not the person she perceives him to be.

My mother is stressing me.

Dear Obaa Yaa,

We have been friends for the past two years and our parents know about our relationship. Her parents have even asked me to perform the marriage customary rites.

Recently, my mother returned from the hometown and told me that she has found a girl for me to marry.

I tried to convince her that I was not interested in any girl apart from my present one, but she won’t listen.

My father, however, told me that he would support whatever decision I take.

My uncle then said that I should respect my mother’s decision and go by it.

I can’t do that because I promised to marry my girl, besides my girl has spent so much money on me when I was down financially and was not working.

Apart from that we never had any disagreement because we love each other. How do I convince my mother that she is the right girl for me.

Barima,

Bogoso

Dear Barima,

You should let your mother explain to you why she doesn’t like your current girlfriend and is ready to give you a new lady.

If your mother is currently accusing the lady of so many things try and probe further.

If you are convinced that your mother’s attitude is as a result for dislike she has for your current girl, then you must include the support of your father or a pastor.

But if you figure out that your mother is after your interest, then you and your girlfriend would need a lot of prayers. Which means the two of you, would have change your lifestyle altogether and devote yourself to prayers to get rid of whatever is going on.

It will be a great commitment but efforts will be rewarding. If you are convinced that you can handle it, then go ahead and marry your girl. Your mother will eventually come to accept her when she realises that your wife is making you happy

Obaa Yaa

Am I wicked?

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I met and befriended another girl when my girlfriend travelled out of the country. I made her to understand that my first girl was more or less my wife, so marriage would be out of the question between us, and she understood.

My girl would be returning home within a few months, and this other girl is now saying that she would rather break up with me.

She also has been sending friends to talk to me and to plead on her behalf.

The girl is again saying that I am a wicked person without feelings, and that I have used her. I know that she wants me to feel guilty, but I don’t.

Am I actually wicked like she’s saying?

Efua

Swedru,

Dear Efua,

Yes, I do believe that somehow you have treated the girl badly, and the fact that you are almost man and wife does not make you guiltless, because the end result is that you only used her to pass the time of waiting for the return of your first girl.

You can at least try and be nice to her and let her go gen tly.

But don’t make things worse by prolonging the relations