Features
Leakages and academic dysentery
Student life just prior to GCE exams is as interesting and adventurous as it is tragic. It is a period during which recalcitrant finalists are tempted to break into backyard poultry outfits of senior house-masters, so that they can enjoy chicken-soup while “ghosting.”
And in mixed schools, it is during this revision period that boys and girls alternate studies with romance in such a way that at the beginning of the long vacation, the girls can clandestinely approach unscrupulous doctors to scoop out growing babies from their bellies.
A few weeks to the beginning of the first paper, many students develop physical and imaginary illnesses ranging from amnesia to kpokpomatics (nervousness). The budding finalist who is serious and level-headed plans his study time-table and allots time for bath, meals, siesta and snoring.
Such candidates follow their own regimented programme to the letter and enjoy normal life while studying for their exams. They are health-conscious, do not take drugs and they enjoy rest to avoid brain fag.
There are other serious students, however, who are not concerned about health. They are so busy, or claim to be, that they refuse to take their bath, comb their hair, wash their hands before eating and sometimes, simply refuse to go to “toilet”. This is quite revolutionary and I wonder how they manage it. But that is not all.
They take ‘caterpillar’ to keep awake, fail to wash their cover-cloths, and have air conditioners permanently installed in their armpits. These are students who are on the war-path towards academic distinction but ironically very few of them do well.
Some are so over-zealous that they pack and carry books for all their eight or so subjects to the classroom swearing to ‘chew’ all before day-break. They end up learning virtually nothing because they prefer the rhythmic snoring using their books as pillow to cramming Abbot.
The following morning, they will be the first to impress their colleagues: “I swear my father’s moustache that last night I did what Napoleon could not do.” For sure, Napoleon did not sleep that much. Ninety per cent of such students end up in the academic grave with grade 9s, subsidiary passes and FAIL as their lot.
Incidentally, however, those category of students are more acceptable to organised society than the happy-go-lucky ones who regard academic excellence as sacrilegious and, therefore, include discoing, wee-smoking, chasing form-two girls and stealing gari from frail chop boxes in their study programme.
These are the students who are so intellectually deviant that they keep on praying papers should leak so that they can prove to their ‘book-long’ fellows they are a force to reckon with.
A month to exams they go hovering about West African Examinations Council (WAEC), forcing tete-a-tete with crooked officials some of whose faces look hungry enough to accept money in exchange for exam papers.
Others trot from school to school contacting friends of similar feather to obtain information about possible leakage points. The girls become unusually liberal to the Assistant Headmaster who may, as a reciprocal gesture, be tempted to ‘peep’ two or three Maths questions from one paper to offer as sure tips after carefully changing the wording. These assistant heads, therefore, become alphabetical surgeons; a very infamous occupation.
In the 70s, the incidence of leakages and exam malpractices became so rampant among the WAEC countries that Nigeria swore to rid its territory of the epidemic.
They did succeed. Sikaman authorities also swore same, and for some time, ears became free from news about leakages, impostors and ‘copiato’ (copying during exams).
But just as we had begun the last decade of the 20th Century, the plague re-surfaced and today some students and their allies are under lock and key for the part they played in this scholastic uprising.
Papers leak right from WAEC strong rooms, police stations and assistant headmasters’ vaults.
When papers for instance go into transit at the police station for onward transmission to the exam centres, surgical operations are performed on the sacks and the papers extracted and put on sale on the open market.
Sometime ago, the situation degenerated so much that Makola women were seen hawking. Additional Mathematics papers just like tomatoes and garden-eggs.
One interesting but unfortunate thing about leakages is that it does no one ultimate good. To a brilliant student, a leaked paper in his possession makes him unable to justify his intellectual capacity and his scholastic worth is over-shadowed.
To the brainless, it is simply a disaster. He has no brains whatsoever to imbibe solution to the answers. He has to choose the alternative of entering the exam room with copied answers. And there, he becomes a copy-writer and proof-reader. Speed is his best asset, but he is most likely to be caught.
One block-headed student who acquired a leaked paper was faced with the problem of choosing between ‘chewing’ the answers (which was virtually impossible in view of his deficient IQ), and turning himself into a speed copy-writer. He however decided to do neither of these.
In the exam room he considered his plight. All his friends and enemies were also in possession of the paper and had prepared so well that they were going to clock beautiful grades. And he, the only JUDAS in the lot will surely wind up with a grade 9. What!! God forbid!
On the answer sheet he wrote a very brilliant letter to the examiner in clear hand-writing and similar to this:
“Dear Sir, this very paper you are marking is under massive leakage, and I know that people are going to blow it paa-a! But as for me, although I also had all the questions, I am as daft as a live sheep. My father had no brains in his big head. As for my mother, the least said about her, the better. And as you know that a dog does not beget a cat, I was born an idiot.”
“So when I got the questions, I didn’t know what to do with them. Will you please therefore consider me and pass me too. Otherwise, I alone will die of academic dysentery. Thanks for your usual cooperation. Yours faithfully…”
The paper was cancelled, and students had to suffer the expense of re-registration and frustration, not forgetting the loss of time.
The only solution to this grave problem of exam leakages and allied criminal offences is that the law must prescribe stiffer punishments for those who perpetrate and or collaborate to further these criminal practices.
Those convicted of these offences must be packed away for as long as would be possible to make them forget about exam papers. Such a deterrent measure would help minimize the problem. Proper security arrangements must be organized by authorities of WAEC to rid Sikaman of this recurrent menace.
We must all endeavour to prevent the situation where outsiders will feel inclined to refuse recognising our dear certificates which many have toiled for, but which a dangerous few want to obtain without sweat.
This article was first published on Saturday, June 30, 1990.
Features
The Prophet part 2
“I can see in the spirit, that some of you have been trading for years without seeing any meaningful profits, some young women have been disappointed by men who have either abandoned them and left for foreign lands and forgotten about them, or stopped sending money for the upkeep of their wives and children.
I can see young men who are desperate for visas to travel abroad but have either been duped by visa contractors or refused at the embassies. From tomorrow, I assure you, the visas will be given.
Young women, I have news for you. You will receive telephone calls, and you will hear very good news. Handsome young men with money in their pockets will come and marry you, and take care of you. Traders, you will get big business and big profits from today. From today, you will see that I am a true prophet who has come to deliver you.”
Shouts of “Amen,” “thank you Prophet” and “I receive it” greeted his sermon. After a final prayer, he asked the congregation to come early the following day, and bring others, because there would be many testimonies.
There would also be “special anointing” for great miracles. Although he did not ask for an offering, most of the people came and dropped notes, and coins at the “pulpit.” When they left, Antobam counted the money.
“GH¢900!” he almost shouted, ‘and I did not even ask for an offering. This is fantabulous!’ Going to the Nana Kofi Broni shrine, he told himself, was a very wise move.
He started making plans……He had to choose a few assistants who would carry out his orders……. He had to hire some chairs as soon as possible……He had to find a suitable piece of land and, if possible, build his own church……. He had to start looking for a nice car, befitting the status of a popular preacher …… And, most importantly, he had to select two, three or four nice, young women to take care of his needs, apart from the servants who would cook, wash, iron and do other errands for him.
Abruptly, he told himself, this hungry, scruffy Kukurantumi boy was being transformed into a man of power and money, with some of the most beautiful women in town at his beck and call. Wow!
After a shower and supper, he shut the door to the very small room that served as his bedroom and dropped on the bed. Almost immediately, the shrill sounds, like whispers, began.
This time he did not express any fears. He realised to his great surprise that even though the sounds were not in the form of any language, he could understand them.
Tomorrow there will be testimonies……they will give money……. some rich people are being prepared …….they will bring big money ………. we will give them what they want, and they will bring money ……. big money …….big, big money……the women will also come, a number of them. ‘
He went to sleep smiling and whispering to himself, ‘big, big money, and women!’
He woke up at 5 and took a shower. After a breakfast of tea and several slices of bread he set off. On reaching the venue he saw to his great surprise that the place was full.
Very full, and quite a number of people rushed to embrace him and give him the wonderful news. The excited people narrated the testimonies about big sales, telephone calls from relatives directing them to go to Western Union, and impotent husbands who had miraculously rediscovered their magic powers.
He was truly glad that Nana Kofi Broni’s magic had already started working, but most of his attention was focused on the ladies in the congregation. He noticed to his great delight that some of them were really nice. I must start making my selection, he told himself. Today!
“Give a mighty clap offering to the great, mighty one for his wonders among us!” he started, and the response was very big.
“I said yesterday that you were going to see signs and wonders, and I am very happy that my word has been fulfilled. Even though we have taken allowed one hour for testimonies, many more of you would like to testify.
Tomorrow, I promise you that there will be ample time. I will only preach a short sermon. The rest of the time will be taken up by consultations, after which I will give directions on what to do to ensure that you defeat your enemies, secure your marriage and, most importantly, continue increasing your profits in your business.” His sermon was interspersed with ecstatic shouts of “Amen,” “it is true,” “God bless you” and “I receive it.”
His final word was emphatic; “Big miracles are coming your way. Keep attending church, and don’t forget to give thanks to God.”
By Ekow de Heer
Features
Full Gospel Businessmen Fellowship launches project to transform young lives
The Full Gospel Businessmen’s Fellowship International (FGBMFI) Ghana has launched the Senior High Schools and Colleges Project (SCP) aimed at empowering and transforming the lives of young people.
Speaking at the launch, Professor Mike Ocquaye, the former Speaker of Parliament, emphasised the need to catch them young and train them as the current times were challenging.
He lauded the project, calling on all to support it, saying “In fact, it’s very important to catch them young, train them, lead them, guide them, and mentor them because the times are indeed rough,” Prof. Ocquaye said.
Mr Ekow Egyir Dadson, the Director, Schools and Colleges Directorate, stated that since its inception in 2018, the SCP had reached over 70 educational institutions with countless testimonies of transformation.
“We began with the Presbyterian Boys Secondary School (PRESEC) Legon, and now in 2024, we have visited 74 schools and impacted the lives of over 100,000 students, some of whom were personally mentored and now have graduated from the universities.”
He explained that the SCP, a vision by FGBMFI Ghana, was a bold outreach programme designed to call young people to Christ, train and equip them for the future.
He cited testimony-sharing, mentorship, career guidance, entrepreneurship and counseling as some of the unique approaches to be used in reaching out to the targeted students.
Mr Emmanuel Baba Mahama, the National President of the FGBMFI Ghana, launched the SCP Manual, which would help the FGBMFI Zonal Family Chapters across Ghana in order to adopt schools and colleges within their catchment areas.
The Schools and Colleges project is making a great impact; we have had first-hand testimonies from school heads, teachers, and students (mentees) about the SCP. This project has come to stay, Mr Baba Mahama assured.
He, therefore, called for more volunteers and partners to help the SCP shape the next generation of leaders and citizens.
Findings by the FGBMFI revealed that Ghana’s senior high schools, colleges, and university students face growing challenges like addictions, indiscipline, poor academic performance, pornography, homosexuality, broken homes, and a lack of godly guidance.
That had been a concern to many parents and society, “but the FGBMFI believes there is hope to rescue and restore these young students,” Mr Mahama said. –GNA
