Relationship
Tips for a stress free family Christmas
Many people find Christmas a stressful time and this is often to do with expectations. We all worry about getting the right gifts for people, preparing the perfect Christmas dinner, getting the house ready and spending concentrated time with extended family.
To help you have a fun Christmas rather than a frazzled one here are some tips for keeping the pressure off.
1. State expectations
Make sure that you have conversations with your family and friends about everyone’s expectations of Christmas well in advance. That way you can deal with any difficult demands and make compromises that suit everyone.
If you are worried about the cost of Christmas, you could also set some spending limits for gifts or come up with ideas for presents that don’t need to be bought; for example washing the car or making someone breakfast in bed.
2. Remember it’s OK to say no
As well as talking to your family about what they want to happen at Christmas be honest about what you want to do too.
If you want to turn something down, explain why you do not want to do it, and have a suggestion ready for an alternative.
For example instead of taking on all the cooking you could suggest a ‘bring and share’ meal so that everyone takes a share of the work.
3. Practical prep
If you are hosting Christmas, it is always a good idea to do some prep beforehand – simple things like making (or buying!) the food early or wrapping presents the weekend before can really help.
Make a list of tasks that need to be done in the run up to Christmas and ask your family and friends to each put their name to something. You can stick this up at home and even get the kids to decorate it with Christmas pictures or stickers.
4. Delegate, delegate, delegate
Do not be afraid to ask your guests for help. We can all fall into the trap of wanting to be the perfect host, but in reality, hosting Christmas Day can be very demanding. Asking people to help can make everyone feel involved. Children really like to feel helpful, so get them involved with handing round snacks or setting the table.
5. Avoid conflict
If you are worried your guests might not get on, go for a walk in the afternoon to break things up a little. This gives everyone the chance to chat to someone different, or even to stay at home if tension is building.
Equally, you can always ask a guest to make drinks, or help out with the kids in order to break up any potential conflict.
6. It is your Christmas too
Christmas Day can whizz by in a festive blur without you so much has sniffing a glass of fizz or pulling a cracker because you’re frantically trying to make everything perfect for everyone else.
Remember that it is your Christmas too and you should be able to enjoy it. Make a timetable for the day so that there are regular times when you can sit down and talk with everyone or play with the children.
Relationship
Social and economic implications of divorce
Social Implications
divorce has social consequences that extend beyond the couple to affect families, communities, and society. The failure of a marriage often leads to a ripple effect that transforms social relationships and societal dynamics (Amato, 2010).
a. Impact on family dynamics
Marital dissolution reshapes family roles and responsibilities, often resulting in conflicts among family members. Studies indicate that children often feel torn between parents, leading to strained parent-child relationships (Lansford, 2009). In Ghana, studies have shown that children in divorced families are more prone to behavioural issues, often feeling unsupported and confused (Abane, 2011). Additionally, research suggests that parental divorce can lead to long-term emotional instability in children—affecting their ability to form secure attachments and causing relational difficulties that may last well into adulthood (Fagan & Churchill, 2012).
b. Community disruption
When marriages break down, communities experience a weakening of social ties. People who are divorced and their children may feel alienated or stigmatised, and thereby become more withdrawn. In the USA, a report by the Institute for Family Studies (Wilcox et al. [2020]) reveals that community-level marriage dissolution correlates with lower community engagement and weaker social bonds. This can contribute to a reduction in collective cohesion, support networks, and social integration—affecting the quality of community life and overall societal well-being (Harkonen, 2014).
c. Children’s social development
Children of divorced parents commonly struggle with issues such as insecurity, trust, and difficulty building relationships. According to a study conducted in the UK, children belonging to divorcees are 33 per cent more likely to experience anxiety and social withdrawal than those in stable two-parent families (Office for National Statistics, 2021). Similarly, Nigerian studies show that children from divorced families mostly struggle with peer relationships, academic performance, and self-esteem (Olowodunoye & Ogungbamila, 2013). These social challenges can have lasting impacts, including increased risks of academic and occupational hurdles in adulthood.
Economic Implications
The economic costs of divorce are both immediate and long-term. They impact individuals and families, and on a larger scale, can influence the economic health of entire societies (Wagner & Weiss, 2006).
a. Financial strain
People’s financial stability can suffer greatly due to divorce. One or both spouses may struggle to cover basic expenses and maintain their pre-divorce lifestyle. Studies from the USA show that, on average, divorce can shrink household income by 15-40 per cent due to legal fees, asset division, and shifts in living arrangements (Amato, 2014). In Ghana, research suggests that divorced women, in particular, face financial hardship, with many relying on extended family support (Osei-Hwedie & Mwansa, 2007). Moreover, divorce in Nigeria substantially changes financial security, especially for women who lack legal protection for property or financial rights (Isiugo-Abanihe, 2005).
b. Impact on career and productivity
Marriage dissolution can alter work productivity and career growth. A study conducted by the United Kingdom’s Marriage Foundation (2019) revealed that individuals undergoing divorce tend to encounter a temporary drop in work performance, with a reported 20 per cent increase in sick days among recently divorced employees. Career disruption not only influences personal financial stability but can also minimise overall workforce efficiency, with consequences for national economic output (Vignoli et al., 2018).
c. Economic burden on society
The economic consequence of divorce extends beyond the individuals involved, placing a financial strain on public resources. A report from the Institute of Economic Affairs (2016) found that family breakdown costs the UK economy approximately £48 billion annually in welfare and support programmes, with similar patterns observed in the USA (Thomas & Sawhill, 2002). Divorce-related economic challenges normally require government intervention in the form of social welfare, housing assistance, and other public benefits, making family dysfunction an economic burden on society (Vignoli et al., 2018).
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). https:// counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/ edu-counseling-psych
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Relationship
Tips for creating healthy working relationships
A healthy working relationship with employees creates a positive work environment and helps grow an organisation. Not much is talked about the boss-employee relationship. Like any other relationship, it also has many wavelengths and needs a proper flow to sustain and grow.
Good relationships are more about mutual admiration and understanding. However, it is a process that needs genuine effort, time, and empathy.
1. Bond of trust
The most important part of a boss-employee relationship is trust. Always be honest with your employees and never twist your words. Always tell the truth.
Be more transparent while you approach your employees. And never gossip about your employees or share any of their personal information with others. Trust is the building block and makes your relationship with employees sustainable. So trust-building will give you great results.
Bridge the relationship with trust to sustain it.
2. Merge the gap with communication
Communication is one of the most important key aspects of the boss-employee relationship.
Open and honest communication gives you an understanding of the employees’ sentiments, needs, and a good company culture.
A workplace should not only limit to email communication. Weekly meetings and hearing out the employees help you achieve more employee loyalty. Good communication fills the gap between awkwardness and other human complexities.
3. Appreciate your employees
A simple gesture or a “Thank you” note can lift your mood and keep you motivated.
Give your employees the appreciation they need. They work for you and dedicate a lot of time and effort to your company’s growth. Pat their backs, make them feel special, and let them know how much you value their work. Do it honestly and not just for the sake of it.
Though it would take very little time to appreciate their excellent work, for them, this can bring a whole new motivation and engagement in their work.
4. Respect your employees
Respect your employees and their opinions. Never make your employees feel neglected. Please don’t be harsh on their face when you disagree with them. Respect their inputs and try to explain your point of view with a little more empathy.
5. Implement autonomy
Give your employees freedom in your workplace. Nobody would appreciate you if you don’t give your employees enough room and space to complete their tasks. Autonomy in the workplace increases job satisfaction and your relationship with employees.
6. Show value, be empathetic
Value your employees. When you do it honestly, your relationship would automatically transcend to another level. If any of your employees face problems and have a hard time dealing with them, give them your helping hand. Supporting them in their crises could create wonders for your relationship.
7. One to one interactions
Go a little extra mile to talk to your employees and have a one-to-one interaction with them when needed. This would create a sense of support for your employees.
Ask your employees if they are happy with the work assigned to them. If they find enough support from their team members? Are they keen on learning other processes? Or any suggestions they have on the current way of work.
Questions like these would give your employees a sense of morale boost and help build positive relationships.
8. Have a learning attitude
Don’t take the proverb “The boss is always right” literally. Keep a learning attitude, which would help the employees feel more comfortable while giving their point of view to you. This also allows the employees to realise that they are the same and gives a sense of oneness.
At the end of the day, the Boss-employee relationship is all about trust and believing in their work. Hence, it is a collaboration where genuine involvement from both parties is compulsory.
