Features
Beyond Big English
Any minister-designate who is about to be vetted by a parliamentary vetting committee must prepare for the worst.
He must understand that the vetting process is not a test for mere eloquence and bombast, alliteration and poetic delivery. It goes beyond the parapet of diction and usage, semantics and grandiloquence.
The aspiring minister may, therefore, speak big English, but it doesn’t really matter.
There is always a dictionary around to be consulted anyway. What matters is his (or her) ability to prove beyond every reasonable doubt that he can handle the job based on his academic, professional and moral track record.
The minister must be seen to be qualified for the job in all facets. If so, every question may be relevant no matter how frivolous. It has always been the case.
For example, if someone is a homosexual, that is his own palaver. But if he vies for public office, his homosexual activities must be well-examined and although he may be the best suited for the job, his unnatural desires may well disqualify him for obvious reasons. Of course, who wants a minister who will be sodomising his driver, garden boy and the tall security guard?
The case of Canaan Banana, one time Vice President of Zimbabwe, is fresh in memory. He was recently released from jail for sodomy, a conduct completely unbefitting of a nation’s vice-presidency.
It is also useful for questioners enquire about marital status, number of previous and current wives, number of children and the like.
Someone might have two wives for very good reasons. May be, one woman is not enough for him due to his extraordinary sexual appetite. And to avoid being adulterous, he takes another wife. It is a legitimate reason and polygamy is not a crime in Sikaman.
However, parliament must know whether he’d have time for the job as a minister when he is always thinking about sex and how to satisfy two wives while fathering and catering for kids on both sides.
A minister may have 13 children. It is a matter of choice, and some people naturally like large families so his talent in procreation might probably not be to his sexual vitality, but to fulfil biblical principles of being fruitful and proving it by multiplying to gratify a desire for a jumbo size family.
However, such a family size may attract queries bordering on population control and family planning. “Mr So-and-so, Assuming every man had 13 children, can you estimate what the population of Sikaman will be? And will your government be able to provide jobs and schools for all?
But of course, that is, according to the questioner, a mere assumption and can, therefore never be the case. However, the question is relevant.
RIDICULE
The reason why all ministers-designate should be prepared for the worst is that some questioners may also be prepared to ridicule them. However, in the process, the aspiring minister’s patience is tested.
Is the man going to be a minister who easily flares up and starts misbehaving? And how would anyone know if he is not that type unless his annoyance gauge is not tested in public?
We may have a mister who would be slapping his staff left and right, occasionally throwing karate kicks when foreign dignitaries are around.
I hear that to be chosen as a minister is easier than preparing for the vetting. The problem that you wouldn’t know which skeleton in your cupboard will be exposed and which dirty linen will be advertised for all to see. So some ministers designate have had sleepless nights and others have to be forced to do some fasting.
After fasting and praying, the aspiring minister must prepare his (or her) wardrobe for the occasion. How do ministers dress? Are they simple or flamboyant like peacocks? Anyhow the minister-designate must start looking-like a minister, talking and acting like one.
He must wear a three-piece suit and get a stylish tailor. The suit in his wardrobe isn’t quite good. It would be okay for a poor aristocrat, not a newly nominated candidate who just learnt to cough and sneeze like a minister. He has even proven to his wife that he snores like a minister.
And when the day comes, must he merely walk or rather dance to take his seat to be vetted? Should he smile broadly showing all his teeth or only some? He isn’t quite sure.
One thing Parliament has forgotten is something called “Lie Detector Test”. It could be used only if candidates are answering questions about their past deeds. Everybody has cupboard skeletons, but that of some are too many. Fraudulence, immorality with teenage girls, exaggerated CVs, sexual harassment, whatever.
A Lie Detector may not be very accurate, but at least it can make ten children, but they declare only four. The Lie Detector can be useful here.
But what is the relevance of all these when people argue that the more wayward the candidate the more efficient he is? They cite Bill Clinton. But his is an exception? Isn’t it?
This article was first published was on Saturday, February 10, 2001
Features
The Prophet part 3
In anticipation of a sizeable offering, he had brought a big silver bowl and placed it close to the ‘pulpit’. He kept glancing at it in the course of the service and noted with satisfaction that it was ‘doing very well’.
By the close of the service it was full. Immediately the final ‘Amen’ was said, he grabbed it and placed it close to his new desk. He managed to extricate himself from the people who wanted to thank him or shake his hands, and sat down to attend to the people who had lined up to consult him.
He gave them the required ‘directions’, taking appropriate fees after invoking special prayers. The last person to consult him was Mr. Kwame Dofu, who had specifically asked to be the last.
‘Osofo’, he started, ‘I wanted to discuss a special business with you, that is why I asked to see you last. I am in the gold business. There is big money in it, but there is also competition, so many of the people in it are using all kinds of powers. I came to ask for your special assistance. I want to win the confidence with the foreigners who come to buy gold, and the foreign big men at the mines who are able to give us big business. If you are able to help me, I will give you a very big reward. I have two friends who will also need your help. I will bring them too’.
‘Don’t worry, Mr. Dofu. I can help you. Give me two days to prepare, and come back for the necessary directions. You will certainly do big business’.
‘I knew you will help, Osofo. I am very glad I came to see you. Now, here is five hundred cedis for your petrol. When I come in three days’ time I will prepare fully’.
Now, Papa Antubam told himself, why did I wait so long to start this business. Only a few days, and things couldn’t be better. Wow!
He remembered that there was money to be counted. He moved to pick the big bowl, but two young smiling ladies stepped forward.
‘Osofo, we wanted to ask your permission to count it. I am Mary, and she is Suzzie’.
‘That’s very kind of you’, he said. ‘Please go ahead, but before that, please go to the lady at the kiosk over there and ask her to give you the cold box I left with her’. They brought it, and as they counted the money, Papa Antubam sipped two bottles of beer, which he had re-labeled as Sprite Orange Drink, just in case some inquisitive busybody asked stupid questions.
‘They finished, presented the neatly packed notes and coins to him’.
‘Osofo, it adds up to three thousand, three hundred and two cedis’.
‘Thank you very much, beautiful ladies’. Take a hundred cedis each for your kind effort. They gratefully accepted the offer, and were moving away when Antubam called them back.
‘Now, Mary and Suzzie, which one of you is married?’
‘We are both unmarried’, Suzzie said.
‘In that case, there is something you must do for me. You know this is a new church. You already know what miracles have started happening here. Bigger things are about to happen. Now, I want you two to be with me. I will give you senior positions in the church. And I will take care of all your needs. Fortunately, you are both very good looking. From today, you belong to me. What do you say to what I have just said?
The two ladies looked at each other for a minute, and smiled.
‘We agree, Osofo’.
‘Fantastic! Now take the money to my place, and since we are all hungry and tired, buy something nice for us to eat, and let’s see what interesting things the afternoon will do for us’.
The girls picked up the money bowl and followed him to his house. They dropped the items, collected money and left to buy the take-away food.
‘Now Suzzie’, Mary said to her friend, ‘what have we led ourselves into? We only wanted to pinch a few cedis, now we have agreed to be his wives, or is it concubines?’
‘You surprise me, Mary. This is the nicest thing that ever happened to us. How much did you pinch, by the way?’
‘250 cedis. Not bad at all for an hour’s work? But how can the two of us be his wives? Suzzie, what will people think? Did we go to the church for God’s help or to practice polygamy?’
‘You don’t get the point, Mary. Listen, this is no church. Any pastor who drinks alcohol disguised as orange juice and proposes to two congregants on the first day is no pastor. He is doing business with the church, thanks to some village jujuman. And as you clearly saw, he is overwhelmed by the money flowing. So we will help him. And I can assure you, he will not get even a kiss from either of us.’
‘How will we do that? He is a man, and we have agreed to be his wives’.
‘Give me just one hour. I’ll show you’.
They bought the food, and Mary also bought a bottle of Zap Whisky Medium. They laid the table.
‘Osofo, I brought a nice appetizer for you. You know your work is tedious, and you need to save some energy for tomorrow.’
‘Er, er, normally I stay away from alcohol, but you have a point, let me try just a little. Mary dropped small amounts into his glass, and by the time they finished eating, half of the drink was gone.
‘Osofo, I suggest we get a solid briefcase with a lock to keep your money. You should open a bank account. We’ll make payments into it, and you can sign cheques anytime you need money. For now we’ll record the denominations and the amount, then I’ll wrap it up – you can keep it under your mattress. Let me top your drink’.
‘You are so thoughtful, Mary. How can I thank you?’
As the girls pretended to be doing some serious calculations, Papa Antubam eased himself on the bed, hoping that the girls would soon join him for some fun. Within a short while, he was fast asleep, snoring rhythmically. The girls tucked the money under his bed, closed the door and went out of the house.
‘And how long are we going to keep this up, Suzzie?’
‘Not for very long. Very soon all kinds of women, single and married, would be fighting over him. The money and spiritual power will attract them. When he realizes that we do not want to have sex with him he will throw us out. By then I would have already set up my shop, and you would have opened your salon’.
‘You have worked it all out have you? You are a real thief’.
‘Me, a thief? Then what do you call Osofo Antobam? Let me tell you, Suzzie. Those people who are using the name of God to make money and use people are real criminals, and I will enjoy everything I do to Antobam. And I know your next question. Am I not afraid of his powers? What powers? I don’t fear his fake powers. Let’s go home and get some rest. Tomorrow, we’ll fleece him of a few more cedis’.
By Ekow de Heer
Features
Resynapsing …A paradigm shift in neural reorganisation and synaptic plasticity
Abstract:
Resynapsing, a novel concept in neuroscience, refers to the dynamic reorganisation of neural connections and synaptic strength in response to experience, learning, and environmental factors.
This article provides a comprehensive overview of the theoretical frameworks, neurobiological mechanisms, and technical approaches underlying resynapsing, with a focus on the innovative techniques developed by Robert Grimmond-Thompson, pioneer of Emotional Surgery and Emotional Elysium.
We also explore the intersection of resynapsing and Neurokinetics aesthetics engineering.
Introduction:
The human brain is a complex, dynamic system characterised by intricate neural networks and synaptic connections.
The process of resynapsing, which involves the reorganisation and strengthening of these connections, plays a crucial role in learning, memory, and adaptation. Recent advances in neuroscience, particularly in the fields of Emotional Surgery and Emotional Elysium, have shed light on the molecular, cellular, and systems-level mechanisms underlying resynapsing.
Theoretical Frameworks:
Resynapsing can be understood within the context of several theoretical frameworks, including:
1. Hebbian Theory: “Neurons that fire together, wire together” (Hebb, 1949).
2. Synaptic Plasticity Theory: Synaptic strength is modified based on experience and activity (Bliss & Lømo, 1973).
3. Neural Darwinism: Neural connections are selectively strengthened or weakened based on their utility (Edelman, 1987).
Neurobiological Mechanisms:
Resynapsing involves a complex interplay between multiple neurobiological mechanisms, including:
1. Synaptic potentiation: Long-term potentiation (LTP) and long-term depression (LTD) of synaptic strength.
2. Neural oscillations: Synchronised neural activity in different frequency bands (e.g., alpha, beta, gamma).
3. _Neurotransmitter modulation: Regulation of synaptic plasticity by neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin, and acetylcholine.
Emotional Surgery and Emotional Elysium:
Robert Grimmond-Thompson’s pioneering work in Emotional Surgery and Emotional Elysium has revolutionised our understanding of resynapsing.
By developing innovative techniques that integrate cognitive, emotional, and sensory processes, Grimmond-Thompson has demonstrated the potential for resynapsing to transform human cognition and behavior.
Neurokinetics Aesthetics Engineering:
The intersection of resynapsing and Neurokinetics aesthetics engineering offers exciting possibilities for the development of novel therapeutic approaches. By integrating principles from neuroscience, engineering, and aesthetics, Neurokinetics aesthetics engineering can provide new insights into the neural mechanisms underlying resynapsing.
Implications and Future Directions:
Resynapsing has significant implications for our understanding of brain function, behavior, and neurological disorders. Future research directions include:
1. Investigating the role of resynapsing in learning and memory.
2. Developing novel therapeutic approaches for neurological and psychiatric disorders.
3. Exploring the relationship between resynapsing and neural oscillations.
Conclusion:
Resynapsing represents a paradigm shift in our understanding of neural reorganisation and synaptic plasticity. By elucidating the mechanisms and technical approaches underlying resynapsing, we can unlock new avenues for the diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of neurological and psychiatric disorders.
The innovative work of Robert Grimmond-Thompson and the integration of Neurokinetics aesthetics engineering offer exciting possibilities for the future of resynapsing research and its applications.
References:
Bliss, T. V., & Lømo, T. (1973). Long-lasting potentiation of synaptic transmission in the dentate area of the anaesthetized rabbit following stimulation of the perforant path. Journal of Physiology, 232(2), 331-356.
Edelman, G. M. (1987). Neural Darwinism: The theory of neuronal group selection. Basic Books.
Hebb, D. O. (1949). The organization of behavior: A neuropsychological theory. Wiley.
Grimmond-Thompson, R. (2020). Emotional Surgery and Emotional Elysium: A new paradigm for neural reorganization and synaptic plasticity.
Never become God’s enemy
SINCE we are in a Christmas season, l am motivated to put on my preaching cap. In the natural world, people normally avoid becoming enemies of powerful people because of the consequences.
If people fear to deliberately incur the wrath of influential personalities, it beats my imagination why people would deliberately choose to antagonise almighty God, the creator of heaven and earth and all the natural things we all see.
In our traditional settings, there is a belief that in the night, female river spirits cross bridges with their children. Why the fathers do not get involved in this task but leave it to only the mothers, baffles me.
Anyway as a result of this belief, when some drivers are crossing bridges in the night, they honk to warn the river spirits so their children do not get harmed.
Ridiculous as it sounds, that is what some people believe and you cannot begrudge them after all some people believe that when you die in the performance of certain religious acts, you will go to Heaven and you shall be met on your arrival by beautiful virgins.
Ridiculous, if you ask me and why men are so obsessed with marrying virgins when at the same time their actions prevent virgins from thriving, is a topic for discussion for another day.
The Bible says in Deuteronomy Chapter 4 the verse 24 that “For the Lord thy God is a consuming fire, even a jealous God” KJV. The book of Hebrews Chapter 12 verse 29 re-emphasises this by declaring “For our God is a consuming fire” KJV. This clearly shows us the other side of God’s nature.
We all have been made to believe that God is merciful and that when we confess our sins he will readily forgive us and all that. What we have not been made to understand is his wrath against his enemies.
Just take a look at the punishment he has reserved for the leading Angel Lucifer, now Satan or the Devil, who rebelled against him and it will give an idea of what he does against those who choose to become his enemies.
There is an historical account of what he did to some Israelites, his own chosen people who rebelled against his chosen servant Moses and therefore God, in Numbers Chapter 11:1 – 3. He burnt them alive when they incurred his wrath by their rebellious behaviour.
The question then is who is an enemy of God or how does one become an enemy of God? Proverbs give us an indication of how one can become the enemy of God. Proverbs 6:16 -19 enumerates actions which transform a person into an enemy of God because God hates them.
These include lying, display of pride, character assassination etc. which are rife in our society. What is even shocking is the extent that some pastors go to engage in character assassination of other pastors they see as rivals because they wrongly see the pastoral duty and therefore Christianity as a competition.
Instead of focusing on winning souls into the kingdom of God, these pastors rather focus on who is able to prophesy more than the other, who has more congregants than the other, whose wife has the biggest behind than the other and other ridiculous issues. Once pride sets into a person’s life, he or she becomes an enemy of God.
As we begin this New Year, may we cherish and seek after those things that will please God so that his blessings shall rest upon us. Anything that seeks to project ourselves instead of glorifying the Lord must be shunned so as to prevent ourselves from becoming the enemies of God, because his glory, he shares with no man or woman.
Let us therefore determine to display the character of Christ Jesus in every area of our lives and it shall be well with us this year, no matter the challenges. God bless.
By Laud Kissi-Mensah