Relationship
Avoiding cheating in your relationship
There is just so much cheating and disloyalty these days in relationships. It would be safe to assume that there is a substantial bulk of people who would willingly cheat in a relationship. And why is that? Well, it can be challenging to give a general answer for all couples. There are just so many variables that go into determining one’s disposition to remain loyal in a relationship or not. But what we can do is spot certain trends that will make it easier for you to gain a better perspective on cheating, and it will allow you to prepare yourself in your relationships better.
Talk about what cheating means to both of you.
You need to be able to define the parameters in your relationship. You both need to talk about what it means to be loyal to each other. You both need to talk about your standards for commitment. You both need to talk about what constitutes cheating in both of your eyes.
Meet each other’s needs as much as possible.
The more you can meet each other’s needs, the less likely you are going to cheat one another. Meeting each other’s needs and expectations breed a sense of contentment. And when you are both contented in your relationship, you won’t go trying to shake anything up.
Do activities that you can bond over as a couple.
Try to connect with one another. When you bond with each other, you get the chance to build the level of intimacy in your relationship. You create a sense of camaraderie, and you act more like a team.
Communicate as much as possible – and listen.
Communication is key. And remember that communication isn’t purely about just saying what’s on your mind and in your heart. It’s also about really being able to listen to each other. It’s about making your partner feel safe to talk to you.
Don’t be possessive or jealous.
The tighter your grip, the more suffocating you become in a relationship. So loosen up a little bit. Let your partner feel free to be their people. Don’t try to imprison them.
Get therapy if you need it.
You have to consider the possibility that you are not able to address all of the problems in your relationship on your own. And that’s okay. There is no shame in seeking outside help, especially from licensed professionals.
Have a healthy attitude towards sex.
Have a healthy and active sex life. The happier you are in the bedroom, the happier the relationship becomes overall.
Be humble and own up to your shortcomings in your relationship.
You aren’t always going to be perfect in your relationship. And the moment you feel that you’re doing everything right, you put yourself at risk of stagnancy. And you never want to stay stagnant in your relationship. You always want to work on something. There is always something that you can be improving on.
Source: www.gistping.com
Relationship
When the tides change (Pt. 2)
Psst! Psst! Lean in closer… closer! Now listen, silence is golden, or so they say.
But when the Tale Bearer arrives with news from yonder, that golden silence suddenly turns into a shiny distraction you cannot ignore. So here I am, bearing tales from the gods, hot, fresh and ready for your ears!
Have you heard? Wonder Boy’s new status has him soaking wet like a sponge at a waterpark. And, oh boy, is he loving it! Ehem! Now, he is serenading us with a tune that has gotten us laughing and jeering mockingly ‘Johnny Just Come’, Johnny just come. Hehehe!
Who knew the rulers of the mighty kingdom of Umofia are living it up like royalty, while the rest of us are out here playing catch-up with life? Ah, life, the greatest comedian, always leaving us laughing, but with tears in our eyes.
Come to think of it, Umofians, the gods are clearly watching over us and this is their way of saying ‘wake up, Umofians! ‘He who does not see the clouds cannot predict the rain’. Well the clouds are gathering, pay ye heed.
Now, tell me, if our rulers have managed to build themselves a palace in the sky, should we, the children of Umofia, not ask for our fair share of the clouds? Should we not demand our own seat among the stars? Who knows, perhaps soon we shall all be sipping palm wine under the shade, enjoying the breeze together as equals.
Honourable Wonder Boy, if you think you are too small to make a difference, try spending the night with a mosquito. We the Umofians gave you a seat at the table of the rulers to speak on our behalf because we believe in you.
A word to the wise is enough, now show us you are not just another ‘Johnny Just Come, but the one who can stir the pot and serve justice hot! This is your moment, do not let it pass you by!
Tell your people that Umofians gave them the power, they should remember; power is like salt—use it too much, and it will spoil the whole food. Tell them oo, the people can snatch the power back quicker than a hare can outrun a tortoise.
Ah well! My elders always say, “Home affairs are best kept behind closed doors, not shouted from the public square.” So, I shall take my leave now before I turn into the village crier.
Until next time, keep your ears open.
With Eyram, the Tale bearer.
Relationship
Preparation for your marriage ceremony
A wedding day is one that many dream of—a day filled with love, joy, and excitement as two people commit to a shared future. Yet, the importance of this day goes far beyond the flowers, the venue, or even the vows.
As thrilling as it may be, a wedding is the start of a lifelong journey, not a one-day event.
Before this life-changing commitment, pause. Reflect on your reasons for marrying. Ensure you’re as ready for the marriage as for the wedding. The ceremony is beautiful, but it’s just the beginning.
This chapter will outline steps to guide you. They will help you plan a wonderful wedding. They will also prepare you for your marriage and the adventure ahead.
With divorce rates high in many parts of the world, it’s more important than ever to make intentional and thoughtful preparations for marriage. These steps aim to show you the way. They cover your relationship from its start to the wedding and beyond.
Practical Steps for Preparing for Your Marriage and Wedding Day
Let’s break down preparing for marriage into actionable tips. They will assist both your wedding day and, more importantly, your future marriage.
- Clarify Your Personal Intentions and Expectations
Take the time to understand why you want to get married. Reflect on questions such as, “What does marriage mean to me?” and “What kind of partner do I want to be?”
Make sure your reasons for marriage go beyond a desire for companionship or society’s expectations. They should align with deeper values.
- Set Aside Time for Pre-Marital Counselling
Consider participating in pre-marital counselling sessions. As a marriage and family therapist, I know that counselling offers a safe space. It can help address conflicts, discuss family backgrounds, and develop key communication tools for the future.
- Communicate Openly About Expectations for Married Life
Discuss your expectations of your roles in the marriage. Talk about financial goals, family dynamics, and career aspirations. Also, consider other factors that could affect your relationship. Open communication helps prevent misunderstandings down the line. Clear communication today builds trust for tomorrow.
- Align Financial Goals and Habits
Talk about financial matters, including income, spending habits, saving strategies, and financial goals. Money issues often cause marital conflict. So, build transparency and teamwork in this area.
- Plan for Practicalities Together
Deliberate on living arrangements, daily routines, and other practical aspects of married life. Decide together how household responsibilities will be shared. These actionable conversations help establish routines and expectations that will benefit you both.
- Establish Boundaries with Extended Family Members
Define healthy boundaries for your interactions with family and their involvement in your lives. Setting boundaries early on will help prevent tension with in-laws or extended family, a common issue in marriage.
- Create a Shared Vision for the Future
Spend time talking about the vision you have for your life together. Develop a “relationship mission statement” that expresses your shared values, goals, and dreams. This vision will act as a strategic guide for your marriage. A strong marriage is built on a shared vision, not just shared experiences.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). ORDER BOOK NOW: https://selar.co/preparing-for-a-happy-and-fulfilling-marriage
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
