Features
Beyond Big English
Any minister-designate who is about to be vetted by a parliamentary vetting committee must prepare for the worst.
He must understand that the vetting process is not a test for mere eloquence and bombast, alliteration and poetic delivery. It goes beyond the parapet of diction and usage, semantics and grandiloquence.
The aspiring minister may, therefore, speak big English, but it doesn’t really matter.
There is always a dictionary around to be consulted anyway. What matters is his (or her) ability to prove beyond every reasonable doubt that he can handle the job based on his academic, professional and moral track record.
The minister must be seen to be qualified for the job in all facets. If so, every question may be relevant no matter how frivolous. It has always been the case.
For example, if someone is a homosexual, that is his own palaver. But if he vies for public office, his homosexual activities must be well-examined and although he may be the best suited for the job, his unnatural desires may well disqualify him for obvious reasons. Of course, who wants a minister who will be sodomising his driver, garden boy and the tall security guard?
The case of Canaan Banana, one time Vice President of Zimbabwe, is fresh in memory. He was recently released from jail for sodomy, a conduct completely unbefitting of a nation’s vice-presidency.
It is also useful for questioners enquire about marital status, number of previous and current wives, number of children and the like.
Someone might have two wives for very good reasons. May be, one woman is not enough for him due to his extraordinary sexual appetite. And to avoid being adulterous, he takes another wife. It is a legitimate reason and polygamy is not a crime in Sikaman.
However, parliament must know whether he’d have time for the job as a minister when he is always thinking about sex and how to satisfy two wives while fathering and catering for kids on both sides.
A minister may have 13 children. It is a matter of choice, and some people naturally like large families so his talent in procreation might probably not be to his sexual vitality, but to fulfil biblical principles of being fruitful and proving it by multiplying to gratify a desire for a jumbo size family.
However, such a family size may attract queries bordering on population control and family planning. “Mr So-and-so, Assuming every man had 13 children, can you estimate what the population of Sikaman will be? And will your government be able to provide jobs and schools for all?
But of course, that is, according to the questioner, a mere assumption and can, therefore never be the case. However, the question is relevant.
RIDICULE
The reason why all ministers-designate should be prepared for the worst is that some questioners may also be prepared to ridicule them. However, in the process, the aspiring minister’s patience is tested.
Is the man going to be a minister who easily flares up and starts misbehaving? And how would anyone know if he is not that type unless his annoyance gauge is not tested in public?
We may have a mister who would be slapping his staff left and right, occasionally throwing karate kicks when foreign dignitaries are around.
I hear that to be chosen as a minister is easier than preparing for the vetting. The problem that you wouldn’t know which skeleton in your cupboard will be exposed and which dirty linen will be advertised for all to see. So some ministers designate have had sleepless nights and others have to be forced to do some fasting.
After fasting and praying, the aspiring minister must prepare his (or her) wardrobe for the occasion. How do ministers dress? Are they simple or flamboyant like peacocks? Anyhow the minister-designate must start looking-like a minister, talking and acting like one.
He must wear a three-piece suit and get a stylish tailor. The suit in his wardrobe isn’t quite good. It would be okay for a poor aristocrat, not a newly nominated candidate who just learnt to cough and sneeze like a minister. He has even proven to his wife that he snores like a minister.
And when the day comes, must he merely walk or rather dance to take his seat to be vetted? Should he smile broadly showing all his teeth or only some? He isn’t quite sure.
One thing Parliament has forgotten is something called “Lie Detector Test”. It could be used only if candidates are answering questions about their past deeds. Everybody has cupboard skeletons, but that of some are too many. Fraudulence, immorality with teenage girls, exaggerated CVs, sexual harassment, whatever.
A Lie Detector may not be very accurate, but at least it can make ten children, but they declare only four. The Lie Detector can be useful here.
But what is the relevance of all these when people argue that the more wayward the candidate the more efficient he is? They cite Bill Clinton. But his is an exception? Isn’t it?
This article was first published was on Saturday, February 10, 2001
Features
Another opportunity is available
Another celebration of Easter, which is associated with the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, Saviour of the world, has just gone by.
This is not the first time such a celebration has taken but it has been celebrated each year, ever since I was old enough to appreciate things happening around me.
During the festivities, many people become holy and begin to rededicate their lives to God, through his beloved son Jesus. Many people make resolutions about how they are going to become committed to God, how they are going to change the way they have been living their lives and change for the better, how they are going to demonstrate love to their neighbours etc.
Give them say three months and you will find them forgetting about the resolutions they made. Those of us who belong to this group, a new opportunity has now been offered for us, so we can stick to our resolutions.
Easter has always been a time of reflection, especially for Christians. It is a time for stock taking to see where we stand with our faith in our creator and our status as to where we are on our walk with God and therefore his son, Jesus Christ.
It is a period in which the death of Christ takes on a deeper meaning and the significance of it becomes very much appreciated. It affords believers an opportunity to critically reassess our lives and to read just our way of life, so we could still be on the narrow path to heaven.
During the Easter period, an atmosphere of divine visitation can be felt by those who are spiritually inclined. Testimonies abound of miraculous encounters during Easter seasons.
Watching the Passion of Christ movie after church last Sunday, I really experienced a deeper connection to the suffering that Christ endured from when he was taken to Pontius Pilate up to when he said “It is finished’’ on the cross.
On the social front, it is a great time for reconnecting with members of our families, a time of reconnecting with friends, contributing to the development of our local communities etc.
This is the time when those who are outside the country, come home to interact with family members especially their parents, who they have not interacted with face-to-face for a long time.
It is true that due to technological advancement it is now possible to interact with friends and family but it is not the same as face to face interaction. There is the disturbing side to this celebration which requires that efforts be made to cause attitudinal change.
Some people see this occasion as an avenue for promiscuity and all they look forward to is an opportunity to get someone to sleep with, despite the prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases like HIV.
If we want to see improvement in our lives both spiritually and physically, then we must prayerfully consider the resolutions we make now, so that God will grant us the grace and determination to achieve them. Let us focus a bit more on the spiritual than the physical.
Let us plan on how to improve say our prayer life, how to manifest the gifts of the spirit and not how to get the latest vehicle, and things of that nature.
The Bible exhorts that we should seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all other things that we need, shall be given to us, according to Matthew 6:33. Instead of going by this directive, we usually turn it upside down and seek what we perceive us our needs first before seeking that of God, no wonder things usually do not turn out the way we expect. God bless.
NB: ‘CHANGE KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO KOFI BAAKO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT’
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
Features
Who knows tomorrow?
Recently a friend posted a sad news on his Facebook page, announcing the death of a school mate who had passed away, suddenly. The report had it that he was on his way to the airport to take a flight to Ghana.
I am sure this man had already informed the wife or a friend or a work colleague at work that he was returning home but he was not to return as a human being but as a dead body.
Such is life and so we need to be circumspect in how we go about things in life. The Bible reminds us that we are like grass which at one point in time looks elegant and the next moment becomes withered according to Psalm 90:5 and 6. It is for this reason that we need to guard our hearts with the word of God so that we shall be motivated to do the right thing, at all times.
This will enable us live on this planet, free from all sorts of troubles in our personal lives, even if we ignore the question of Heaven and Hell. Living a disciplined life delivers us from any kind of trouble as the Bible declares in Galatians 5:23 that against such there is no law.
The uncertainty surrounding our lives on earth is the more reason why people should commit their lives into the hands of the one who created it, in the first place unless you believe that the world created itself and that it appeared from nowhere.
Otherwise, the logical thing to do is to recognize the authority of the creator and surrender to his Lordship. Heaven is real and Hell is real, so for us who know the truth and have received Jesus as our Lord and Saviour, the onus lies on us to encourage our relations who have not believed and received Jesus into their lives, to do so.
We are a couple of days from another Easter Resurrection celebration and an opportunity to reflect on our lives in relation to the significance of Easter. In the Bible, the only occasion Jesus, Saviour of the world commands us to celebrate is his death and resurrection.
He never commanded his followers to celebrate his birth but like everything else, we chose to ignore Jesus’s instructions and decided to do what pleases us, just like our forefather and mother in the Garden of Eden.
Let us deliberately choose to do things differently as Christians this Easter, so we can really benefit from all the blessings that the celebration of the death and birth of Jesus, has on offer. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is definitely insanity.
I choose to be different this Easter and I am believing God for a newness of life so God’s glory would be revealed in me to draw the unsaved to him. It is only when people especially the unsaved, see the character of Christ in us, that they can be convinced about the authenticity of Jesus, as Saviour of the world, who can bring transformation in their lives too.
This is what would motivate them to surrender their lives to Jesus Christ. Let us make this Easter a memorable one that will be cherished for a long time. It is also a period for reconciliation and it would be great if in the spirit of Easter, we would try to reach out to those who have wronged us or have a grudge against us.
This would demonstrate that we have indeed accepted Jesus and that our religious posture is not a sham. May the good Lord grant us the grace to love our neighbours as ourselves, demonstrating the love of God in the process.
Those who have lost their loved ones and Easter brings sad memories, may the good Lord comfort and strengthen you. God bless.
.NB: ‘CHANGE KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO KOFI BAAKO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT’
