Obaa Yaa

He calls me too much

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 25-year-old lady planning to marry my 29-year-old boyfriend. He has all the qualities I want and we have been together for the past three years. He does his own business and I am a teacher.

My only worry is that he is obsessed with me to the extent that he calls my phone almost every hour. When I don’t answer he will continue to call, at least 50 times in an hour.

I have asked him not to call repeatedly because I get too busy sometimes that I am unable to answer calls. But this doesn’t seem to go down well with him. He tells me he would follow me everywhere I go even after we get married.

He says he can’t do without me and that I would have to stop teaching and manage his personal business after our marriage. I know he loves me but I feel he is being too clingy. Is his behaviour normal? Should I proceed with the marriage?

Worried Serwaa,

Haatso.

Dear Serwaa,

As you rightly said, your fiancé is obsessed with you and that is why he wants to be in touch with you at all times. Although you have been together for long, perhaps he still wants to be certain about your movements, hence his frequent calls.

There is nothing wrong with your boyfriend being overly protective. You should be proud that he is head over heels in love with you. But don’t take it too seriously when he says he will “follow you everywhere” even after you both tie the knot. That could be a joke.

His persistent calls should not be a reason for you to abstain from the marriage. Continue to love him as you both plan your life together. The calls are normal and it should not bother you at all.

Obaa Yaa

My driver raped me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 30-year- old married woman. I trade in foodstuffs and recently on a journey to convey some foods from the hinterlands, I was raped by my driver.

I can imagine how my husband will feel if I told him. He will divorce me right away without a second thought.

It was not my fault and I feel so hurt yet I cannot report to the police because I never wanted the incident to be made public.

Naana,

Sunyani.

Dear Naana,

I understand your dilemma and I think in the interest of your marriage let sleeping dogs lie.

On a second thought, how did a driver you have been working with for so many years rape you?

Does it mean you had feelings for each other or you were cheating on your husband?

Is there something you are hiding because I just cannot understand this incident.

Make sure it doesn’t happen to you again. In short, do not take that particular driver’s vehicle again.

Make sure you don’t stay over whenever you are on a trip.

Obaa Yaa

My past life is traumatising me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am currently going through difficult moments in my life because of my past activities.

I am a 35-year-old lady who is single and hoping to get married, however, nothing is working for me.

The issue is that, in the past, I had a special preference for only married men and so far, I have been able to date about seven of them. Out of this number, I have destroyed five of those marriages due to my relationship with the husbands.

I made sure I made time for them, cook and always offer them good treatment, especially in bed because they were all nice to me.

My dilemma is that, one of the men wants to marry me after divorcing his wife.

However, my friends are advising me not to make that move because it will look as if I am the reason for their break up.

Will I be wrong by marrying him because I am still single and searching?

Worried Lady,

Achimota.

Dear worried lady,

Marrying someone who has divorced the spouse because of you can be quite complex.

Even as you reflect on your journey and seek a new path, there are several concerns that may arise.

First, there’s the idea of karmic debt, which suggests that our actions bear consequences. In this context, marrying someone to whom you played a role in his divorce might evoke feelings of guilt or unease.

Additionally, it’s essential to consider the emotions of the wife who has been left behind. Entering into a marriage with her ex-husband could be viewed as a lack of respect for her and the relationship they once shared.

This situation also prompts important self-reflection regarding your personal growth. It’s worth contemplating whether marrying this person would signify genuine progress in your life or if it might merely lead to repeating past patterns.

However, there is another side to consider. Everyone deserves a second chance, and if you’ve truly repented, committing to someone who loves and accepts you could represent a positive step forward. Ultimately, the most crucial aspect of your decision should be your own happiness and well-being, as you strive to create a fulfilling future.