Obaa Yaa
Husband impregnates house-help, wife adopts child
Dear ObaaYaa,
There is a common saying that life is how you make it, and that tolerance and sobriety are qualities which will propel one to surmount difficulties in life.
I thought it wise to write to this column to sound a word of caution or to advise young ladies who married or up-and-coming ladies are contemplating to marry.
We got married and with time had to arrange for a house help because there was the need for an additional hand to assist in taking care of the children.
In no time, our zealous house help attracted the attention and love of everyone in the house and this has given me the assurance that she will possibly spend many years with us.
Having spent two years in the family, one morning, l discovered in her signs of pregnancy. From that time till evening, I took time to observe her critically and eventually confirmed that she was really pregnant.
Afraid of the implications involved with pregnancy and the reactions of her parents, l enquired from her who was responsible for the pregnancy.
I was shocked to the marrow when she mentioned my husband’s name as the one responsible for her pregnancy.
I hurried to the bedroom to verify from my husband what the house help had told me, but he denied that he had nothing to do with her pregnancy and that the lady must be joking.
Though l was enraged in general and the answer he had provided, the obvious question l asked him was “Why should this lady mention my husband’s name and no other man either in the house or in the vicinity?”
However, judging from my husband’s demeanour, l had the conviction that he impregnated our house help.
I took pains to provide our house help with the necessary assistance and the items she needed throughout her period of pregnancy until she was delivered of her baby.
It is quite surprising to note that his child resembles my two children.
Thereafter, l decided to take care of the child, compensated her and asked her to leave the house for good since her continued stay could probably result in another problem.
So this is my piece of advice to the young ones.
Akos, Kumasi.
Dear Akos,
This column would like to praise you for the display of wisdom by which you were able to calm a seemingly volatile situation in your family.
Your marriage would have disintegrated and the children disorganised if you had left your matrimonial home.
More importantly, sharing this wonderful example for others to emulate gladdens my heart that people in dilemma will learn useful lessons from this. It takes women of substance and good character to overcome such problems in their marriages. The world will continue to sing the praises of your calibre.
Obaa Yaa
Under pressure from family to marry
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 38 and single. In spite of the pressure I receive from my mother, I have decided not to marry now until I am financially sound.
It is this same mother of mine who would keep asking me for things even when I am married.
Obaa Yaa, recently my mother actually came to my house with a 10 member delegation from my hometown in the Ashanti Region at dawn.
Their mission was to give me two weeks ultimatum to marry or else they would bring me a wife from the village.
Obaa Yaa, please what should I do?
Akwasi.
Dear Akwasi,
MARRIAGE is not a child’s play. I understand the fact that you want to be financially sound to decide on marriage.
You are not getting younger so try to give ear to what your mother is saying.
No one can force you to marry against your will. Get to your mother with a respectable elder and let her know that she is embarrassing you with her unwarranted demands.
Assure her that in your own good time, you would get married and that you are not prepared to accept any imposition.
Obaa Yaa
He forcibly kissed me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 20-year-old girl and a virgin. I have made up my mind not to have sex before marriage or involve myself in any immoral acts.
Interestingly, when I turned 25, I met a man who was in his early thirties doing so well with business.
He is very kind, lovely, faithful, caring, humble and God-fearing.
We began dating for some time and because he didn’t ask for sex, I concluded he was the right man for me.
One holiday, we decided to hang out. He proposed marriage to me, when I said yes, he forcibly kissed me.
Looking at things, I am afraid that he will one day forcibly have sex with me.
Should I go on with this relationship?
Annora, Sunyani.
Dear Anora,
YOU are growing and you should be able stand by the decisions you take.
Once this man has forcibly kissed you, what he intends to do next is to have sex with you.
He might be a good man so don’t end the relationship because of the incident that happened.
If you are not ready to marry, do not accept any love proposal from a man.
If you are also interested in him, kindly tell him to do the needful before any other thing.