Obaa Yaa
I am confused in life
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady in my early 30s. I had a child with someone but my parents did not approve our being together.
Three years down the line, I met another guy and I told him everything and he agreed to be with me and promised to marry me and stand by me.
After a year of dating, I got pregnant for him then he went to see my parents and promised them that after I had put to bed, he will come and marry me.
I have lived with him since my pregnancy and have done everything a woman does for her man but he keeps postponing the marriage rites.
Our child is a year and six months old now and he still has not said a word about performing the marriage rites.
We have been together for three years now.
What do I do please? I do not want to make the same mistake I made with my first child.
Sylvia, Amasaman.
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Dear Sylvia,
I want to commend your second boyfriend for staying with you throughout the period of pregnancy.
For a man to accept someone’s child as his own and still love you was a good thing and must be applauded for it.
I would advise you to be calm, take your time and just pray to God.
It can be that your husband-to-be is preparing himself well in terms of finance. You know marriage entails a lot in terms of finances because he needs to prepare for settle bride price and other marital demands for you to become his wife.
Don’t be in a rush for him to marry you now and not have money to take care of the home.
Approach him with a calm tone to know his mind, how things are going with the preparations and why he keeps postponing the dates.
You would not know his mind unless you ask him. Back your issues and problems with prayers and I believe everything would go on well successfully.
Obaa Yaa
They said the carpenter is not a good match
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As a University graduate from the prestigious University of Ghana currently doing my National Service in a very great institution, I am dating a carpenter who barely completed his Junior High School.
I love him, and I don’t see any problem dating him but my sisters are against it.
I started dating him when I was in my third year, he is caring, free spirit and kind.
My sisters are saying he is not a good match for me and he will block my chances in future.
He’s even demanding to go see my parents.
Please what should I do?
Miriam,North Legon
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Dear Miriam,
I can see the love for your boyfriend is deep. I pray the two of you will be in this boat forever.
Love does not show class, level etc. It’s about two matured people who have decided to build a family together.
In your letter, you mentioned that your sisters were against you marrying the carpenter. They are looking at your boyfriend’s background and occupation.
If you really love him, you can help him to register for courses in order to upgrade his schooling and make his business very attractive.
I know there are men who are interested in you as well. But don’t let that get into your head. Take your time and study all of them because marriage is a long journey.
Take him to your parents as well, they might even like him.
Obaa Yaa
He has stopped going to church
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am going through hell. I have been married for five years and I have known no peace.
My husband who was a staunch Christian before we married has taken to serious drinking.
And anytime he is drunk, he insults me for no reason. We have a child together.
He has stopped going to church with us. Anytime he is drunk, he doesn’t come home.
I can’t cope any longer with the marriage, I want to quit. I need your wise counsel.
Yaa Mansa,
Techiman.
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Dear Yaa Mansa,
Married is not a straight road. It can be rough and winding sometimes because many factors come to play.
Frustration at work can turn a man into a drunkard. Even nagging can change the nice character of a man.
Financial problems can change a man’s mood.
So humans do change, but the good thing is that they can also change for the better.
However before a person can change, the root cause of his problem must be ascertained.
Find out why your husband is drinking and also stopped going to church and help him to reform.
Note that in such circumstances, nagging does no good. He must be sympathized with and helped to turn around, and not condemned.
