Relationship
Why you must not beg for love from your partner
If you have to beg for love, you are in a bad relationship. It is a sign that your partner is not as dedicated as you are and that the feelings may not be equal.
A relationship is supposed to be a true partnership, and it requires two people to complete it. If only one partner is putting in all the energy, then it’s a sign that the relationship is not a priority and you’re better off if you moved on. Here are some reasons nobody should beg for love.
They may not be ready
If your partner isn’t showing love, it could be a sign they aren’t ready for the relationship you need. No matter what you do or say, you can’t force them to be prepared.
Don’t waste your time trying to change someone who can’t be changed. Wait for a partner to come along who is ready when you are and who won’t hurt you in the process. Your well-being is more important than their lack of being willing.
They don’t appreciate you
If you have to beg, it’s a clear sign they don’t appreciate you, which means they don’t deserve you. You shouldn’t waste time praying for the love of someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Eventually, someone who does appreciate you will come along and treat you the way you deserve to be. Your happiness is essential, never beg someone to treat you well. Save your energy for someone who will never have to be asked twice to show you affection.
Someone else will be available
If your partner isn’t doing the things you need from him or her, it’s not your fault. Don’t beg them to do something they aren’t interested in. You can find someone else who will be fully engaged in the relationship.
Someone who is fully dedicated to the relationship will be able to connect emotionally. Your significant other will be supportive and interested in what is going on in your life. The person who wants to be with you won’t make you feel your self-worth is diminished.
It gives your partner the upper hand
When you beg for love, it makes the other persons feel like they are above you. They may use the begging against you and make it sound like they did you a favour. They may use it as bargaining chip to make you do things you aren’t comfortable with or that make you unhappy.
It can stop you from meeting the right person
When you are putting your energy into someone who doesn’t love you, you could be missing out on something better. There is, indeed, someone special out there who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. Do not let the right one pass you by because you are trying to gain the affection of someone who doesn’t want it.
If you stay in a poor relationship with someone you have to beg, you may not find right person who you truly deserve. Don’t put yourself in this situation; you deserve true happiness and affection.
It makes you feel upset
If your partner isn’t all-in, you’re going to feel sad and lonely often throughout the relationship. Eventually, the relationship will end one way or another. So, you shouldn’t spend your time being upset about the way you feel in your relationship.
You already feel bad that they aren’t giving you love and affection, so you might as well end it instead. The pain will occur in both instances, but do not force the relationship to work.
It is demeaning
Your self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence may be affected if you beg for love from your partner. A relationship should only make you want to be better, and it should make you happy more often than sad.
It should boost your feelings of confidence and make you feel secure about who you are. It should never cause your self-worth to be diminished.
Though no one is perfect, you are perfect for someone. Remember this and remind yourself that if you have to beg your partner for love, you aren’t ideal for them.
Don’t waste the fantastic things you have to offer on someone who doesn’t see how special you are. Someone may be willing to accept you irrespective of your flaws. Wait for that person.
Relationship
When the tides change (Pt. 2)
Psst! Psst! Lean in closer… closer! Now listen, silence is golden, or so they say.
But when the Tale Bearer arrives with news from yonder, that golden silence suddenly turns into a shiny distraction you cannot ignore. So here I am, bearing tales from the gods, hot, fresh and ready for your ears!
Have you heard? Wonder Boy’s new status has him soaking wet like a sponge at a waterpark. And, oh boy, is he loving it! Ehem! Now, he is serenading us with a tune that has gotten us laughing and jeering mockingly ‘Johnny Just Come’, Johnny just come. Hehehe!
Who knew the rulers of the mighty kingdom of Umofia are living it up like royalty, while the rest of us are out here playing catch-up with life? Ah, life, the greatest comedian, always leaving us laughing, but with tears in our eyes.
Come to think of it, Umofians, the gods are clearly watching over us and this is their way of saying ‘wake up, Umofians! ‘He who does not see the clouds cannot predict the rain’. Well the clouds are gathering, pay ye heed.
Now, tell me, if our rulers have managed to build themselves a palace in the sky, should we, the children of Umofia, not ask for our fair share of the clouds? Should we not demand our own seat among the stars? Who knows, perhaps soon we shall all be sipping palm wine under the shade, enjoying the breeze together as equals.
Honourable Wonder Boy, if you think you are too small to make a difference, try spending the night with a mosquito. We the Umofians gave you a seat at the table of the rulers to speak on our behalf because we believe in you.
A word to the wise is enough, now show us you are not just another ‘Johnny Just Come, but the one who can stir the pot and serve justice hot! This is your moment, do not let it pass you by!
Tell your people that Umofians gave them the power, they should remember; power is like salt—use it too much, and it will spoil the whole food. Tell them oo, the people can snatch the power back quicker than a hare can outrun a tortoise.
Ah well! My elders always say, “Home affairs are best kept behind closed doors, not shouted from the public square.” So, I shall take my leave now before I turn into the village crier.
Until next time, keep your ears open.
With Eyram, the Tale bearer.
Relationship
Preparation for your marriage ceremony
A wedding day is one that many dream of—a day filled with love, joy, and excitement as two people commit to a shared future. Yet, the importance of this day goes far beyond the flowers, the venue, or even the vows.
As thrilling as it may be, a wedding is the start of a lifelong journey, not a one-day event.
Before this life-changing commitment, pause. Reflect on your reasons for marrying. Ensure you’re as ready for the marriage as for the wedding. The ceremony is beautiful, but it’s just the beginning.
This chapter will outline steps to guide you. They will help you plan a wonderful wedding. They will also prepare you for your marriage and the adventure ahead.
With divorce rates high in many parts of the world, it’s more important than ever to make intentional and thoughtful preparations for marriage. These steps aim to show you the way. They cover your relationship from its start to the wedding and beyond.
Practical Steps for Preparing for Your Marriage and Wedding Day
Let’s break down preparing for marriage into actionable tips. They will assist both your wedding day and, more importantly, your future marriage.
- Clarify Your Personal Intentions and Expectations
Take the time to understand why you want to get married. Reflect on questions such as, “What does marriage mean to me?” and “What kind of partner do I want to be?”
Make sure your reasons for marriage go beyond a desire for companionship or society’s expectations. They should align with deeper values.
- Set Aside Time for Pre-Marital Counselling
Consider participating in pre-marital counselling sessions. As a marriage and family therapist, I know that counselling offers a safe space. It can help address conflicts, discuss family backgrounds, and develop key communication tools for the future.
- Communicate Openly About Expectations for Married Life
Discuss your expectations of your roles in the marriage. Talk about financial goals, family dynamics, and career aspirations. Also, consider other factors that could affect your relationship. Open communication helps prevent misunderstandings down the line. Clear communication today builds trust for tomorrow.
- Align Financial Goals and Habits
Talk about financial matters, including income, spending habits, saving strategies, and financial goals. Money issues often cause marital conflict. So, build transparency and teamwork in this area.
- Plan for Practicalities Together
Deliberate on living arrangements, daily routines, and other practical aspects of married life. Decide together how household responsibilities will be shared. These actionable conversations help establish routines and expectations that will benefit you both.
- Establish Boundaries with Extended Family Members
Define healthy boundaries for your interactions with family and their involvement in your lives. Setting boundaries early on will help prevent tension with in-laws or extended family, a common issue in marriage.
- Create a Shared Vision for the Future
Spend time talking about the vision you have for your life together. Develop a “relationship mission statement” that expresses your shared values, goals, and dreams. This vision will act as a strategic guide for your marriage. A strong marriage is built on a shared vision, not just shared experiences.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). ORDER BOOK NOW: https://selar.co/preparing-for-a-happy-and-fulfilling-marriage
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
