Obaa Yaa
Her love is still in my heart
Dear ObaaYaa,
We started friendship four years ago on a good note and this was a delight to many people.During the four years of our friendship, we visited each other at home and our parents and relatives had no problem with our relationship.
When l had surgery about two years ago, my lady was always there to render her support and services in whichever way she could and people admired her for that.
I was fortunate to get a job at Tamele in the Northern Region and she visited me on four occasions. Later, she told me that her father had disapproved of our relationship without assigning any reasons.
All attempts to persuade her to stick to our resolve to marry is unsuccessful and l am seriously disturbed about the latest events.
The love we have for each other is great and l do not know what step to take.
Kofi, Accra.
Dear Kofi,
I can imagine how you feel about the change of events in your relationship. I find it quite interesting how your parents were in support of your decision to marry initially.
Since it is not possible to pinpoint what might have informed his decision to change his mind suddenly, keep calm and see how things will turn out to be finally.
Though you might have enjoyed each other’s company all these yearsand very certain of a lovelymarried life, things are going contrary to how you had planned.
All the same, convey your sentiments to your girlfriend and plead with her to convince some of her relatives to talk to her father to rescind his decision.
However, if this suggestion fails, then you have to end the relationship, though on a painful note.
Obaa Yaa
They said the carpenter is not a good match
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As a University graduate from the prestigious University of Ghana currently doing my National Service in a very great institution, I am dating a carpenter who barely completed his Junior High School.
I love him, and I don’t see any problem dating him but my sisters are against it.
I started dating him when I was in my third year, he is caring, free spirit and kind.
My sisters are saying he is not a good match for me and he will block my chances in future.
He’s even demanding to go see my parents.
Please what should I do?
Miriam,North Legon
*****
Dear Miriam,
I can see the love for your boyfriend is deep. I pray the two of you will be in this boat forever.
Love does not show class, level etc. It’s about two matured people who have decided to build a family together.
In your letter, you mentioned that your sisters were against you marrying the carpenter. They are looking at your boyfriend’s background and occupation.
If you really love him, you can help him to register for courses in order to upgrade his schooling and make his business very attractive.
I know there are men who are interested in you as well. But don’t let that get into your head. Take your time and study all of them because marriage is a long journey.
Take him to your parents as well, they might even like him.
Obaa Yaa
He has stopped going to church
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am going through hell. I have been married for five years and I have known no peace.
My husband who was a staunch Christian before we married has taken to serious drinking.
And anytime he is drunk, he insults me for no reason. We have a child together.
He has stopped going to church with us. Anytime he is drunk, he doesn’t come home.
I can’t cope any longer with the marriage, I want to quit. I need your wise counsel.
Yaa Mansa,
Techiman.
****
Dear Yaa Mansa,
Married is not a straight road. It can be rough and winding sometimes because many factors come to play.
Frustration at work can turn a man into a drunkard. Even nagging can change the nice character of a man.
Financial problems can change a man’s mood.
So humans do change, but the good thing is that they can also change for the better.
However before a person can change, the root cause of his problem must be ascertained.
Find out why your husband is drinking and also stopped going to church and help him to reform.
Note that in such circumstances, nagging does no good. He must be sympathized with and helped to turn around, and not condemned.
