Obaa Yaa
I am afraid of getting married
I am afraid of getting married the third child of my parents, a graduate and 27 years old. Though I am working and have the means to cater for a family of my own, I am afraid of getting married because my two elderly brothers are suffering from broken marriages.
Their weddings were good in the beginning but could not go beyond four years.
The traumatic experience one of them had nearly resulted in a serious health problem.
This predicament is putting fears in me not to marry. Unfortunately, most of my colleagues have married and developing their families but I am at a standstill.
For this reason l would like to remain single to free myself from this problem. Despite my decision, I am waiting for your advice to help guide my decision.
Kwame, Tema.
Dear Kwame,
Though it is good to study current developments in your family to guide your future, we have different opportunities, circumstances and challenges in life that people go through. Things happen for different reasons and each person is different.
It was a coincidence that your brothers had this problem, and this should not put fears into you.
The circumstances under which your brothers operated will definitely be different from yours so have a changed mindset, remain positive and venture into marriage its benefits.
Obaa Yaa
My mother is stressing me.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been friends for the past two years and our parents know about our relationship. Her parents have even asked me to perform the marriage customary rites.
Recently, my mother returned from the hometown and told me that she has found a girl for me to marry.
I tried to convince her that I was not interested in any girl apart from my present one, but she won’t listen.
My father, however, told me that he would support whatever decision I take.
My uncle then said that I should respect my mother’s decision and go by it.
I can’t do that because I promised to marry my girl, besides my girl has spent so much money on me when I was down financially and was not working.
Apart from that we never had any disagreement because we love each other. How do I convince my mother that she is the right girl for me.
Barima,
Bogoso
Dear Barima,
You should let your mother explain to you why she doesn’t like your current girlfriend and is ready to give you a new lady.
If your mother is currently accusing the lady of so many things try and probe further.
If you are convinced that your mother’s attitude is as a result for dislike she has for your current girl, then you must include the support of your father or a pastor.
But if you figure out that your mother is after your interest, then you and your girlfriend would need a lot of prayers. Which means the two of you, would have change your lifestyle altogether and devote yourself to prayers to get rid of whatever is going on.
It will be a great commitment but efforts will be rewarding. If you are convinced that you can handle it, then go ahead and marry your girl. Your mother will eventually come to accept her when she realises that your wife is making you happy
Obaa Yaa
Am I wicked?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I met and befriended another girl when my girlfriend travelled out of the country. I made her to understand that my first girl was more or less my wife, so marriage would be out of the question between us, and she understood.
My girl would be returning home within a few months, and this other girl is now saying that she would rather break up with me.
She also has been sending friends to talk to me and to plead on her behalf.
The girl is again saying that I am a wicked person without feelings, and that I have used her. I know that she wants me to feel guilty, but I don’t.
Am I actually wicked like she’s saying?
Efua
Swedru,
Dear Efua,
Yes, I do believe that somehow you have treated the girl badly, and the fact that you are almost man and wife does not make you guiltless, because the end result is that you only used her to pass the time of waiting for the return of your first girl.
You can at least try and be nice to her and let her go gen tly.
But don’t make things worse by prolonging the relations
