Obaa Yaa
She cannot keep secret
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I confided in a lady friend and narrated most of the challenges I was having in my relationship with her. Surprisingly, what I thought I was sharing in confidence is now the talk of town.
I have regretted sharing my concerns with her.
Quite recently, she did a similar thing to a friend who did not take kindly to it at all.
Now she is in trouble and I have to come in to settle the issue.
She is a good friend though but the only issue I have with her is her inability to keep secrets.
How do I help her to overcome this habit?
Stevo, Tema.
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Dear Stevo,
In the first place for how long have you known your said friend? Whether it has been long or quite recently, at least you should have studied her well enough before confiding in her.
Anyway, you have learnt your lesson and I hope next time you will see before you leap.
She has demonstrated that she cannot be trusted so you should be able to set a limit to the kind of conversations you have with her.
In order for her to overcome this habit without embarrassing herself, I suggest you have a talk with her on the need to control her tongue and also learn to appreciate the trust and confidence people repose in her.
Obaa Yaa
They said the carpenter is not a good match
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As a University graduate from the prestigious University of Ghana currently doing my National Service in a very great institution, I am dating a carpenter who barely completed his Junior High School.
I love him, and I don’t see any problem dating him but my sisters are against it.
I started dating him when I was in my third year, he is caring, free spirit and kind.
My sisters are saying he is not a good match for me and he will block my chances in future.
He’s even demanding to go see my parents.
Please what should I do?
Miriam,North Legon
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Dear Miriam,
I can see the love for your boyfriend is deep. I pray the two of you will be in this boat forever.
Love does not show class, level etc. It’s about two matured people who have decided to build a family together.
In your letter, you mentioned that your sisters were against you marrying the carpenter. They are looking at your boyfriend’s background and occupation.
If you really love him, you can help him to register for courses in order to upgrade his schooling and make his business very attractive.
I know there are men who are interested in you as well. But don’t let that get into your head. Take your time and study all of them because marriage is a long journey.
Take him to your parents as well, they might even like him.
Obaa Yaa
He has stopped going to church
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am going through hell. I have been married for five years and I have known no peace.
My husband who was a staunch Christian before we married has taken to serious drinking.
And anytime he is drunk, he insults me for no reason. We have a child together.
He has stopped going to church with us. Anytime he is drunk, he doesn’t come home.
I can’t cope any longer with the marriage, I want to quit. I need your wise counsel.
Yaa Mansa,
Techiman.
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Dear Yaa Mansa,
Married is not a straight road. It can be rough and winding sometimes because many factors come to play.
Frustration at work can turn a man into a drunkard. Even nagging can change the nice character of a man.
Financial problems can change a man’s mood.
So humans do change, but the good thing is that they can also change for the better.
However before a person can change, the root cause of his problem must be ascertained.
Find out why your husband is drinking and also stopped going to church and help him to reform.
Note that in such circumstances, nagging does no good. He must be sympathized with and helped to turn around, and not condemned.
