Features
The vulture a patient bird

The vulture descends from the great heights and clears up every mess
The vulture is not particularly handsome. Spotting a bald head from birth, it is not counted among the bold and the beautiful. But one thing people have come to know is that there is also something good in being ugly. At least, in becoming a vulture, you can become rich and famous.
The Vulture whose surname is Akaga, incidentally has no Christian name. It presupposes that the vulture is not a religious character and has not undergone the ritual of the baptism of water and fire. The vulture is not born again.
CARCASS
The vulture is, however, not shy of being a pagan. After all, it does more good to society than 90 per cent of Christians. Go to Alogboshie or Agbogbloshie and you’ll see Kweku Vulture and Kwame Vulture cleaning the mess made by human beings.
Talk about smelling carcass decomposing innards, discarded and rotten fish no creature on earth wants to touch. The vulture descends from the great heights and clears up every mess human makes. If there are any environmental awards in Sikaman, they must go to the vulture.
It is very unfortunate the vulture which does more work than all AMA conservancy labourers put together, yet has not been honoured. The bird has to contend with the fact that it certainly would receive its reward but in heaven.
The only problem is that, it would have to repent and believe in the good news before getting the visa to heaven, which the vulture is not prepared to do now. Not when there is a dead rat to be attended to.
Anyone who has studied the vulture will realise that it is a very patient bird. It waits patiently, painstakingly, enduringly for the sick animal to die. It can even be more magnanimous and allow it to rot before making a meal of it. That kind of patience, no human being has.
Everyone is struggling tooth and nail to become rich overnight. Hard work is no longer a virtue. Stealing, embezzlements, fraud and ‘Sika Duro’ have become the order of the day.
These are the fast-track methods of making it in today’s world. Damn the consequences!
But if you go the ‘Sika Duro’ way, you might have to be turned into a vulture first to learn all about the virtues of patience. Turning into a vulture may not only be for ritualistic purposes. While engaging in vice, you must learn virtue.
Even in getting ‘Sika Duro’ you need patience. And how best can anyone learn patience than becoming a vulture himself?
Following the publication of a front-page story in ‘The Spectator,’ Ghana’s top-rated weekly newspaper, that two ‘Sika Duro’ adventurists had turned into vultures, I have been under siege. It is as if I had written the story.
People have phoned me, questioned me, and interrogated me as if I’m a criminal the story goes like this. Three friends who allegedly went in for juju money were turned into vultures, obviously to learn the noble art of patience. They were made to feed at a rubbish dump during the day and brought home at night to sleep, while rituals were performed.
PROCESS
The final process was underway when there was a terrible mishap. The first vulture was transformed into a human. At this point, ritual materials get short and some needed to be procured.
The jujuman went to get the materials and got knocked down by a vehicle. He died instant. The two remaining vultures could therefore not regain their human form.
The only lucky one of the three had no choice but to return home to enjoy his wealth. But he had the shock of his life when he realised that his two vulture friends were flying after the vehicle he boarded back home. His friends definitely came back along with him.
Now, when two vultures were alleged to have started hovering and perching at a spot hitherto free of the presence of vultures, people naturally became curious.
COMPANY
I don’t know whether the place the vultures are said to be perching constantly in each other’s company, has now become a tourist attraction, earning Ghana some foreign exchange. Cocoa is not fetching much.
But to anyone who questions me as to the veracity (truth) of the story, I refer the person to go and see if the vultures are at post. It is the presence or absence of the vultures that can tell if the story is true or not.
Meanwhile, Sikaman Palava has been handed over information that other forms of ‘Sika Duro’ are becoming very popular. My investigations are on-going and soon ‘The Spectator’ will offer its numerous readers another front- page banner free-of-charge.
Heard about those who are using their semen (better referred to as sperm) to get ‘Sika Duro’? They are building mansions but they have also become infertile.
They can have sex all right, but cannot impregnate a woman. Those who already have children are disqualified from acquiring that brand of juju money. What is the world coming to?
This article was first published on Saturday March 1, 2003
Features
The West African Samba dance

I was in sixth form! Precisely, I was in lower sixth, bubbling with enthusiasm for life. Incidentally, I wasn’t particularly a good dancer but liked watching others dance. When my pal Billy (Butter) did the ‘old man boogie,’ dance, he did so with passion, with contortions and distortions of the human frame. He often needed artificial respiration after a good dance.
Old man Boogie was the dance form adopted at the time. The more you danced like a bony and fragile old man, the more you got applauded. It was fashionable at the time to go to disco with a walking stick to simulate an 80-year-old boogeyman.
On the disco dance floor, everyone was crumbling over and if you didn’t know what was in vogue at the time, you’d be tempted to order an ambulance to cart the entire gang of dancers to the nearest hospital to check their sugar levels. No doubt, you were likely to mistake for old diabetics lapsing into coma on the dance floor.
The Old man Boogie did not last very long. Soon it was replaced with ‘dog’. The dancer was expected to have the men mentality of a dog, and that included baring teeth and ‘pissing’ with one leg raised. When you saw Korkorti on the floor, you thought he was directing traffic with his left leg.
FRENZY
The ‘dog’ gave way to ‘cat’, a frightening choreographic innovation that put the ladies to flight. If dog produced vampires, cat engendered tigers on stage, complete with claws to show for it. The ladies were not brave enough to encounter large human cats in a frenzy, boogeying to funk. They simply fled!
Finally ‘horse’ arrived on the dance floor and you could see Ghanaians galloping with care-less abandon. What saved the situation was the advent of break-dance which shortly superseded the era of freestyling captured in the musical movie “The Music Machine’, starring Gerry Sundquist and Pati Boulaye, a Nigerian performer.
Break-dance brought home an exciting dance variety with equally exciting medical problems. Youngsters began spinning on their heads and broke their necks. They were put in collar and never tried it again.
All the above mentioned dance forms were amply exhibited last Saturday when the Black Stars went on a demolition exercise in Cape Verde.
The 4-0 hammering reflected the level of determination of the Stars to get to Germany in 2006 to showcase samba made in Sikaman.
Soon after the victory, ECG went on ‘strike.’ The nation was plunged into darkness. I heard someone say the power off was deliberate to tone down the celebration, lest people drunk themselves to death. I wondered whether anyone needed electric power to drink himself to death. The lights came on at last.
I quickly drove through parts of Tema. Celebrations were not mass, but pockets of celebrants amply typified the general mood.
CARNIVAL
A group of about eight youngsters apparently charged beyond measure, with akpeteshie running through their veins and arteries, organised a mini-carnival from Site 14 and took to the streets. “God bless our home-land Ghana… they sang the Black Stars cheer song, while hopping like delighted kangaroos. Others were dancing like cats, others like horses.
The beer bars in Tema overflowed with booze. Huge loudspeakers were mounted at Emefa Bar, Site 14, to begin a night of music, booze and chops. Khebab stands smoked freely as sausages and suya were dished out hot, charcoal-grilled.
My wife had gone to Lome, Togo for the weekend with the kids. And what she saw marvelled her. The Togolese national team hitherto known for its disastrous performances suddenly came alive and surprised their own selves. In the final qualifying game, they came back twice to beat Congo in a spectacular display of skills and artistry.
The rain was pouring in sheets in Lome but the celebrants hit the streets in carnival fashion. My little daughter joined them in the rain. When I heard it, I was angry. Why allow the little girl to join in the fanfare?
My wife explained that the situation was so spontaneous that everybody was overwhelmed. Every kid was on the street dancing in the carnival, so why not my little girl? Nobody could stop her. It would have been a sin to stop her. The young and the old were dancing. Old men and women with walking sticks limped to the streets and lock to boogie, the Togolese style.
For me, the exciting aspect of it all is that West African football has come of age. If Nigeria had qualified it would have been a West African affair. Even without Nigeria, it is. Ghana, Togo and Cote d’Ivoire are going to play in Germany in 2006. It is a new beginning for West Africa.
PRESTIGE
Egypt, Senegal, Zaire, Cameroon, Nigeria, and Morocco have participated in the World Cup but did not shine. Other nations must slug it out there, because it is time an African country won the prestigious World Cup.
If African countries have won in the Olympics and the Junior World Cup tournaments, there should be no reason why they cannot make a mark in the seniors. They only have to shed the inferiority complex bothering some of the teams. Africa must shine!
Now, some Nigerians are saying Ghana, Togo and Cote d’Ivoire will be the whip-ping boys at the World Cup. I’ll advise those Nigerians to cry their own cry.
This article was first published on Saturday, October 15, 2005
Features
Legacy is important in life
The Bible which is usually referred to as the good book, says that good name is better than riches according to Proverbs 22:1. Our generation has turned this sound, Godly advice upside down and has put the love for riches first before good name.
Instead of making the right choices, we are all in a mad rush for money, fame and selfish ambitions. Morality is far from our minds and comes nowhere near the top of our list of priorities.
The first thing most people think of, when given a position as a leader, especially in government, is to look for opportunities to make money. It is a worrying trend in our society that should not be encouraged at all. Gradually our society is placing value on riches than integrity.
Time tested values that have characterised activities of churches are even being compromised to the extent that, leadership roles in churches, are being given to people, based on wealth. No wonder, scandals are manifesting in various churches.
Every person has the freedom of choice. You can decide to choose good or choose evil; it is in your power so to choose. However, what we should all realise is that, choices have consequences.
Decision making is all about choices. If you make the right choice as a leader, your name could be forever etched in gold and your descendants, shall forever benefit from your good choices.
Lee Kuan Yew, said that he had the option of being selfish and making himself and his family rich or to seek the welfare of the nation but he chose the latter because that was the right thing to do.
Today, his name has been etched in gold in Singapore forever. His descendants are revered simply because of what their father and grandfather and great grandfather, did for the nation of Singapore. He left a legacy, a legacy of selflessness, a legacy of patriotism, a legacy of honesty and integrity and finally a legacy of leadership.
I listened to a story about Peduase Lodge. Apparently, it was a gift to Dr Kwame Nkrumah out of love and appreciation by an Akuapim woman, for him to build his private residence. Dr Nkrumah not being selfish but full of patriotism, decided to use it as official residence like Camp David in the US.
He is widely acknowledged also as incorruptible and this has endeared him to the hearts of many Ghanaians although there were some governance issues like the PDA, which somehow dented his otherwise excellent legacy.
Whenever his name is mentioned, his legacy is remembered and wonderful things are said about him. Such legacies, buy favour for his descendants, which in the case of Dr Nkrumah, led to people voting for his daughter to be elected as Member of Parliament for the 5th Parliament under the 4th Republic.
Recently, the passing of a prominent chief in the Asante Region, was announced. This chief has been acknowledged as one of the chiefs in the country, who have banned Galamsey in their area of jurisdiction.
Given the national outcry against illegal mining as a result of the devastating consequences to our environment and related health problems, this fantastic legacy, will go a long way to create favour for his children wherever they find themselves in this country.
Compared this to the son of a notorious armed robber seeking favour for say admission to an SHS. I guarantee you, the moment you mention your name and confirm that you are the son of Ataa…, the legacy of your father will immediately start working against you.
NB: ‘CHANGE KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO KOFI BAAKO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT’
By Laud Kissi-Mensah