Relationship
Blended families-tips for easing the transition-Part 4
As divorce is on the increase in numerous places in the world, blended families have become a common type of household. Many families have a lot of difficulties navigating this unique family situation with success.
A major reason is that members of blended families need to make many adjustments in their lives. The transition can be problematic. And trying to force it can breed conflict and resentment.
Last week we looked at four tips that would help ease the transition, this week we continue with final six tips.
13. Expect them to think it is temporary.
Accept the fact that your children may expect you and their other parent to reconcile. They may fantasise that your new relationship with your partner is only temporary. This is, especially true in the beginning. Find a time to sit down with the children and explain that when two people are unable to live together anymore, it doesn’t mean they love their children any less.
14. Expect resentment.
No matter how good a parent you are, you will never be the biological parent of your stepchildren. It is natural for a stepchild to feel some resentment for you, especially when you are setting limits for their behaviour.
15. Show the children love.
Sometimes children need love the most at a time when it is the most difficult to give it to them. While bad behavior should never be rewarded, always praise children when they are behaving well.
16. As a stepparent, be sure to take the time to bond with your new children.
Your stepchild may be resistant, but it’s important for you to lead the way and demonstrate that you are interested and care.
17. Children thrive with schedules and consistency.
The transition will be much smoother if everyone knows what’s expected of them. Have a conversation early on that outlines the expectations and ground rules.
18. Communication is vital.
Ask how you can make the children more comfortable and let them know what you need, too. Honour requests and communicate boundaries as appropriate. Most children just want to know that you’ll still be there for them. Reassure them.
Source – eddinscounseling.com
Relationship
Why aunt and uncle relationships are unique?
For the most part, people cannot choose whether or not to have a relationship with their parents. They grow up in the same house, they see each other, talk together daily, and they have an ongoing, hopefully, positive relationship.
Aunts and uncles have more freedom than parents in choosing to develop a relationship with a niece or nephew, and both must be interested in forming that bond.
Aunts and uncles desiring to be close to their nieces and nephews can choose ways to interact with them that will strengthen their relationship
1. Role model
One of the most important roles for aunts and uncles is to be a role model. A role model is someone that influences behaviour just by observing how they act. Aunts and uncles can influence their nieces and nephews just by what they do, without saying a word. Aunts can also show their nieces an example of what they may want to be.
2. Friend
Aunts and uncles can also be more of a friend with their nieces and nephews. An important quality that many nieces and nephews name in their parents’ siblings is their ability to have fun. This friendship allows the aunts and nieces (or uncles and nephews) to be involved in common activities they enjoy, such as sports or shopping.
3. Supplemental parents
One role that aunts and uncles often have that is very important is to act as supplemental parents. Aunts and uncles can be complementary to their siblings by providing additional support, to fill the needs that the parents are unable to take care of themselves. This can include providing another supportive adult that kids can go to, to do their hair before a school dance, or by helping to drive them to all the places they need to go. Uncles and aunts can also reinforce the ideas that the parents are trying to teach, such as the importance of education or being kind to your siblings.
4. Buffers between parents and children
Aunts and uncles can also act as intergenerational buffers. This means that they can help mediate the relationship between parent and child.
Instead of siding with one or the other, uncles and aunts can help each family member to try and see the other’s side of the argument.
Relationship
Love in the dark: Understanding depression’s effect on marriage and relationships
Depression is a common mental health disorder that affects millions of people worldwide. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), over 264 million people suffer from depression, making it a leading cause of disability globally. But what happens when depression enters the picture in our relationships, particularly in marriage?
Understanding Depression
Depression is more than just feeling sad or down. It is a serious medical condition that affects how we feel, think, and behave. In relationships, depression can manifest in different ways, such as:
• Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed together
• Changes in appetite or sleep patterns
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness
• Increased irritability or mood swings
• Withdrawal from social interactions or activities
Causes of Depression in Relationships
Some common causes of depression in relationships include:
• The loss of a loved one
• A serious illness or accident
• Divorce, separation, or break-up
• Chronic physical pain
• Feeling trapped or stuck in a situation
• Low self-esteem or bullying
• Trauma or abuse
• Lack of communication or intimacy in the relationship
• Financial stress or difficulties
Symptoms of Depression in Relationships
If you are experiencing depression in your relationship, you may notice:
• Increased conflict or arguments
• Lack of intimacy or emotional connection
• Feeling disconnected from your partner
• Difficulty communicating effectively
• Loss of interest in shared activities
• Feeling overwhelmed or hopeless about the future of the relationship
• Physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach problems
The Impact of Depression on Marriage
Depression can have a significant impact on relationship and marriage, affecting not just the individual but also the relationship as a whole. Some common effects of depression on marriage include:
• Strained communication and conflict
• Lack of intimacy and emotional connection
• Feelings of resentment or frustration
• Difficulty solving problems or making decisions together
• Feeling isolated or disconnected from each other
Seeking Help
The good news is that depression is treatable. If you are struggling with depression in your relationship, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. They can provide you with the tools and support you need to manage your symptoms and strengthen your relationship.
Some effective treatments for depression include:
• Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT)
• Interpersonal therapy (IPT)
• Psychodynamic therapy
• Medication
• Lifestyle changes such as exercise, healthy eating, and stress management
Supporting a Partner with Depression
If your partner is struggling with depression, there are ways you can support them:
• Listen to them without judgment
• Encourage them to seek professional help
• Offer emotional support and validation
• Help with daily tasks or responsibilities
• Encourage self-care and stress management
Depression can have a significant impact on our relationships, but with the right support and treatment, it is possible to manage symptoms and build a stronger, healthier connection with our partners. By understanding depression and seeking help when needed, we can work towards building more resilient and fulfilling relationships.
If you or your partner are struggling with depression, do not hesitate to reach out to us at Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC). Our team of experienced psychotherapists and psychologists are dedicated to helping individuals and couples navigate mental health challenges. Contact us today to learn more about our services and how we can support you.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “HOW TO MAKE THE BEST OF YOUR COURTSHIP: Building a Strong Foundation for Your Marriage” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, Author, and Marriage Therapist).
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