How do I convince my upset daughter

Dear Obaa Yaa,

Just before my husband’s trip, we tried to squeeze in a quick moment of intimacy. Our children were preoccupied – one was playing outside, and the other was napping.

We didn’t lock the door, thinking it would be a brief encounter. But our 12-year-old walked in on us, which was embarrassing.

We immediately stopped and debated who should talk to her first. Meanwhile, my neighbour called, concerned that our daughter seemed upset after trying to talk to us but we were busy.

We had a heart-to-heart talk with her, explaining that our love for each other is natural. However, she didn’t respond and seemed distant.

Now, with my husband away, I feel uncomfortable around our daughter, who has become quiet and withdrawn.

Will things get better?

Asabea,

Takoradi.

Dear Asabea,

I SUGGEST you give your daughter some time. It is natural for her to feel how she is feeling, especially if it’s her first time seeing such a thing.

It could be that she might be feeling guilty and traumatised for ruining your moments.

However, I will suggest you always lock your doors when you’re about to have an intimacy.

Please teach your children how to respect privacy.

They should knock before entering other people’s rooms.

My marriage is coming to an end

Dear Obaa Yaa,

MY name is Philip and I’m 45 years old while my wife is 40 years. We have been married for 14 years but been together for 19 years. We have a girl, she is in High School now and doing pretty well.

My company had a conference at a hotel in Kumasi and four of us from my department were selected to represent the company. During lunch, I decided to take a stroll and enjoy the scenery around the hotel since it’s my first time there.

As I strolled around, I was shocked to see my wife step out of a vehicle with a younger man. They started walking towards the reception of the hotel. The man placed his arms around her waist and they were enjoying each other’s company.

I froze and felt a huge cloud of pain weighing over my head. I wanted to shout and approach them but when I opened my mouth, no words came out and my feet was too heavy to drag.

I am in my mother’s house now, I do not know how I will face her if I eventually go home. I was told my mom needs help with few things at the house so I will lend a helping hand and also sleep over. I haven’t told anyone but my mom suspects that something is wrong.

I am so devastated right now, my marriage and home seems to be coming to an end. Please what should I do?

Philip, Kumasi.

****

Dear Philip,

I understand how you feel; I plead with you to continue to be patient with your wife.

Please try and go home to have a word with her concerning what you witnessed.

Give her the benefit of doubt to explain what she was exactly doing there at that time with the man.

I am pleading with you to give her a second chance but most importantly, kindly inform her parents about it to talk to her.

You can seek the help of a professional counselor and go for therapies with her.

However, if you are not comfortable staying with her, please part ways with her peacefully. You can co-parent your daughter.

Obaa Yaa

I want to be a doctor

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I AM 17 years-old and have completed Senior High School.My aim is to become a medical doctor and carry out research into diseases which have no cures.

When I told my father of my ambitions, he was happy at first, but a few months ago, he called me and told me that he would rather want me to become a chartered accountant.

I am confused because I have never liked or understood business subjects, but I am afraid that if I refuse, my fa ther will stop looking after me.

What can I do?

Afriyie, Apam

Dear Afriyie,

YOU cannot be a chartered accountant just because your father wants you to be one.

Your interest and performance in the subjects to become a doctor must also be a deciding factor.

So take your time to explain to your father that even though you would want to please him, it will not be in your interest to do so.

If you cannot get him to change his mind, don’t give up.

Use every opportunity you might get to talk to him.