Obaa Yaa

I want to propose to him

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I recently met this handsome and charming gentleman when I visited a particular church in Cape Coast. Throughout the service, my attention went on this guy who I perceived to be an active member of the church.

I had no idea why every movement he made caught my attention. And the fact that he was not wearing a ring suggested to me that he was single.

At the end of the service, the pastor asked all new visitors to stand up to be welcomed by the congregation so I joined the many others that had come for the first time.

And once again, this guy led the members that came to welcome us. The moment he said welcome to church my sister, his nice and composed voice sent shivers down my spine.

Fast forwarding, I have known this guy for some time now and we have become very close friends. I am hoping that he would one day express interest in me.

But when that day would come is what I don’t know now. As a single guy and very friendly, affable and attractive, I fear a daring girl feeling the same way about him could do the unthinkable of expressing her feelings for him.

I am thinking about asking his mind about me but I fear if it does not work, it could ruin our friendship. I need help please.

Micheline, Cape Coast

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Dear Micheline,

This is an interesting story and I must say that it is normal for a young lady like you to have feelings for a man you find attractive. Love is actually a beautiful thing but it is sad if you cannot express it.

The guy would not know you have feelings for him if you do not tell him about it. I always advise people to always be open and approach people when they feel something for them or have a problem with them.

If you have feelings for him, approach him and express it to him. Do not be shy. Feel free and say whatever is on your heart to him.

If he turns you down, do not feel bad or hate him for that; just take it easy and accept his decision in good faith.

I wish you all the best dear, stay blessed.

Obaa Yaa

My driver raped me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 30-year- old married woman. I trade in foodstuffs and recently on a journey to convey some foods from the hinterlands, I was raped by my driver.

I can imagine how my husband will feel if I told him. He will divorce me right away without a second thought.

It was not my fault and I feel so hurt yet I cannot report to the police because I never wanted the incident to be made public.

Naana,

Sunyani.

Dear Naana,

I understand your dilemma and I think in the interest of your marriage let sleeping dogs lie.

On a second thought, how did a driver you have been working with for so many years rape you?

Does it mean you had feelings for each other or you were cheating on your husband?

Is there something you are hiding because I just cannot understand this incident.

Make sure it doesn’t happen to you again. In short, do not take that particular driver’s vehicle again.

Make sure you don’t stay over whenever you are on a trip.

Obaa Yaa

My past life is traumatising me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am currently going through difficult moments in my life because of my past activities.

I am a 35-year-old lady who is single and hoping to get married, however, nothing is working for me.

The issue is that, in the past, I had a special preference for only married men and so far, I have been able to date about seven of them. Out of this number, I have destroyed five of those marriages due to my relationship with the husbands.

I made sure I made time for them, cook and always offer them good treatment, especially in bed because they were all nice to me.

My dilemma is that, one of the men wants to marry me after divorcing his wife.

However, my friends are advising me not to make that move because it will look as if I am the reason for their break up.

Will I be wrong by marrying him because I am still single and searching?

Worried Lady,

Achimota.

Dear worried lady,

Marrying someone who has divorced the spouse because of you can be quite complex.

Even as you reflect on your journey and seek a new path, there are several concerns that may arise.

First, there’s the idea of karmic debt, which suggests that our actions bear consequences. In this context, marrying someone to whom you played a role in his divorce might evoke feelings of guilt or unease.

Additionally, it’s essential to consider the emotions of the wife who has been left behind. Entering into a marriage with her ex-husband could be viewed as a lack of respect for her and the relationship they once shared.

This situation also prompts important self-reflection regarding your personal growth. It’s worth contemplating whether marrying this person would signify genuine progress in your life or if it might merely lead to repeating past patterns.

However, there is another side to consider. Everyone deserves a second chance, and if you’ve truly repented, committing to someone who loves and accepts you could represent a positive step forward. Ultimately, the most crucial aspect of your decision should be your own happiness and well-being, as you strive to create a fulfilling future.