Obaa Yaa
I want to propose to him
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I recently met this handsome and charming gentleman when I visited a particular church in Cape Coast. Throughout the service, my attention went on this guy who I perceived to be an active member of the church.
I had no idea why every movement he made caught my attention. And the fact that he was not wearing a ring suggested to me that he was single.
At the end of the service, the pastor asked all new visitors to stand up to be welcomed by the congregation so I joined the many others that had come for the first time.
And once again, this guy led the members that came to welcome us. The moment he said welcome to church my sister, his nice and composed voice sent shivers down my spine.
Fast forwarding, I have known this guy for some time now and we have become very close friends. I am hoping that he would one day express interest in me.
But when that day would come is what I don’t know now. As a single guy and very friendly, affable and attractive, I fear a daring girl feeling the same way about him could do the unthinkable of expressing her feelings for him.
I am thinking about asking his mind about me but I fear if it does not work, it could ruin our friendship. I need help please.
Micheline, Cape Coast
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Dear Micheline,
This is an interesting story and I must say that it is normal for a young lady like you to have feelings for a man you find attractive. Love is actually a beautiful thing but it is sad if you cannot express it.
The guy would not know you have feelings for him if you do not tell him about it. I always advise people to always be open and approach people when they feel something for them or have a problem with them.
If you have feelings for him, approach him and express it to him. Do not be shy. Feel free and say whatever is on your heart to him.
If he turns you down, do not feel bad or hate him for that; just take it easy and accept his decision in good faith.
I wish you all the best dear, stay blessed.
Obaa Yaa
They said the carpenter is not a good match
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As a University graduate from the prestigious University of Ghana currently doing my National Service in a very great institution, I am dating a carpenter who barely completed his Junior High School.
I love him, and I don’t see any problem dating him but my sisters are against it.
I started dating him when I was in my third year, he is caring, free spirit and kind.
My sisters are saying he is not a good match for me and he will block my chances in future.
He’s even demanding to go see my parents.
Please what should I do?
Miriam,North Legon
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Dear Miriam,
I can see the love for your boyfriend is deep. I pray the two of you will be in this boat forever.
Love does not show class, level etc. It’s about two matured people who have decided to build a family together.
In your letter, you mentioned that your sisters were against you marrying the carpenter. They are looking at your boyfriend’s background and occupation.
If you really love him, you can help him to register for courses in order to upgrade his schooling and make his business very attractive.
I know there are men who are interested in you as well. But don’t let that get into your head. Take your time and study all of them because marriage is a long journey.
Take him to your parents as well, they might even like him.
Obaa Yaa
He has stopped going to church
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am going through hell. I have been married for five years and I have known no peace.
My husband who was a staunch Christian before we married has taken to serious drinking.
And anytime he is drunk, he insults me for no reason. We have a child together.
He has stopped going to church with us. Anytime he is drunk, he doesn’t come home.
I can’t cope any longer with the marriage, I want to quit. I need your wise counsel.
Yaa Mansa,
Techiman.
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Dear Yaa Mansa,
Married is not a straight road. It can be rough and winding sometimes because many factors come to play.
Frustration at work can turn a man into a drunkard. Even nagging can change the nice character of a man.
Financial problems can change a man’s mood.
So humans do change, but the good thing is that they can also change for the better.
However before a person can change, the root cause of his problem must be ascertained.
Find out why your husband is drinking and also stopped going to church and help him to reform.
Note that in such circumstances, nagging does no good. He must be sympathized with and helped to turn around, and not condemned.
