Features
Lotto Palaver
My former classmate, Kwame Korkorti, told me recently that the symptoms of modern day diseases like unemployment and redeployment can effectively be stopped using herbal treatment. He also confided in me that if herbal treatment does not prove effective, then one needs to go the lotto way, to avoid weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Korkorti indeed has eleven and a half years practical experience in how to make ends meet. Although he was famous in the 70s as the best kpanlogo dancer of the decade, he was redeployed as a civil servant not too far back.
Faced with the dilemma of where to invest his redeployment benefits, he took the biggest risk in life. He used half the amount on lotto for four consecutive weeks and lost. He then approached a man called the ‘Lotto-Crocodile’ who gave him three sure tips, which were arrived at by the dictates of a ‘timing’ plan.
The calculations could not be doubted and the ‘crocodile’ was indeed revered, even feared, for his lotto prowess. Should Korkorti invest the other half of his benefits into the “3-sure” and damn the consequences?
If he lost, it would be a disaster for him. His wife would leave him, and the landlord would serve him with a ‘quit’ notice, and he would become a ‘Son of Man.’ Moreover, his friends would call him the biggest fool in contemporary times.
Investment
To be on the safer side, he told his wife about his investment plans. She flared up and called him an idiot and a fat-head John-Bull. Korkorti, therefore, recoiled into his shell but decided to stake just ¢1,000.
On Saturday, the three numbers were there in black and white. He promptly divorced his wife for having deprived him of millions of cedis.
Ever since this episode, Korkorti has become a lotto addict, a forecaster, a lotto magician, editor-in-chief of a lotto paper and the chairman of the Sikaman Lotto Winners Association (SLWA).
I heard there is also an association called the Sikaman Lotto Losers Association (SLLA).
Although it is the unemployed who are susceptible to the lotto syndrome, the business is also the pre-occupation of people from all walks of life-business executives, secretaries of state, assemblymen, fetish priests, pastors and evangelists, beggars and koose sellers.
In fact, lotto transcends all occupations and professions in such a way that both the rich and the poor are perpetually engaged in making money out of mechanised lotto, VAG-West or Lucky Scratch whose scarcity in the metropolis does not merit the numerous adverts on television.
Some people are born lucky and can win lotto 20 times in a year. Others like myself have been born to lose.
The last time I came close to winning was in 1983 when hunger in Sikaman was quite normal to the natives. It was the era of famine when man, wife and children had only one hard coconut for supper and got ready to develop jaundice. It was at that time that I got a “2-sure” tip from a very reliable but clandestine source. The mathematical solution of the problem was arrived at by permutation and combinations, backed by calculus and lotto matrices. The two numbers were unfailing.
I told two close friends about it and they staked heavily like I did. After I had kept the tickets safely in a notebook which l locked away in a fortified drawer, I quickly began figuring out a budget based upon the amount l’d win at the week-end.
I planned to purchase one maxi bag of rice, I’ll order yams from Kasoa, beans from Kordiabe and palm-nuts from Larteh. I’ll purchase a table top fridge (since l enjoy iced water so much), a portable sound system and a diplomatic shoe. I apportioned the amounts I’ll remit to my mother, my old-man, brothers, sisters and two friends.
I became so obsessed with this lotto palaver that I could hardly sleep at night. As the week-end approached, the excitement grew so much that I began feeling quite uncomfortable.
Come 5.05 p.m. on Saturday. My heart started beating violently when the Club Beer advert came clear on the air. It was only seconds away and I would be richest man in a time of scarcity and acute hunger. I dashed for my pen and paper.
The numbers were being mentioned by a deep-throated announcer: “And now, the numbers… “My heart beat like that of a marathon runner as I wrote them down, my fingers trembling. The first three numbers did not include my “2-sure” tips. But I was reassured when the fourth was one of mine.
I was ready to leap into air when the last number called was nowhere near my other number. I had lost, and immediately started thinking about where my supper would come from.
That was the day I vowed not to stake lotto again in my life. Lotto can be a good servant and also a bad master. It has been the fertile ground for some people and the downfall of luckless others. It has made some rich and also impoverished others. It has solved problems in families and caused problems in families.
Anyhow, it is the surest way of getting rich without getting into trouble with revolutionary laws. This is because with lotto, you can become an instant millionaire without dipping long fingers into public funds.
Some people say lotto is a vice. Well I do not consider it as such, but of course, it depends on the angle from which one views the game. Although I no longer stake lotto, I’ll be the last to advise anybody against it. It may be somebody’s saviour, who knows. Moreover, it is a way of taxing people for national revenue without, realising they being taxed.
In fact they pay the tax without force, and some gain therefrom. It has also been a source of employment for many, like lotto receivers and agents.
The only problem with lotto is that it is a time-wasting venture to which most workers concentrate all their attention instead of attending to official duties.
Productivity falls, because from the Managing Director to the cleaner, everybody is either busy calculating a certain mathematical progression or discussing the potency of a ‘machine’ number.
True to it, in an eight-hour working period per day, a typical lotto addict uses two hours to think about family problems, one hour for financial worries, and three hours to forecast winning numbers. The remaining two hours are shared between working on the job and relaxing. No country progresses with such work schedule.
Perhaps, it would be better if workers rely more on dream-numbers, car numbers and
house numbers instead of machine numbers, shadows, counterparts, addition 90, turning numbers and timing plans. We should not sacrifice productivity for personal gain. We are free to work lotto after closing hours, week-ends and public holidays. All the best in your lotto palaver.
This article was first published on Saturday, October 27, 1990.
Features
The Prophet part 2
“I can see in the spirit, that some of you have been trading for years without seeing any meaningful profits, some young women have been disappointed by men who have either abandoned them and left for foreign lands and forgotten about them, or stopped sending money for the upkeep of their wives and children.
I can see young men who are desperate for visas to travel abroad but have either been duped by visa contractors or refused at the embassies. From tomorrow, I assure you, the visas will be given.
Young women, I have news for you. You will receive telephone calls, and you will hear very good news. Handsome young men with money in their pockets will come and marry you, and take care of you. Traders, you will get big business and big profits from today. From today, you will see that I am a true prophet who has come to deliver you.”
Shouts of “Amen,” “thank you Prophet” and “I receive it” greeted his sermon. After a final prayer, he asked the congregation to come early the following day, and bring others, because there would be many testimonies.
There would also be “special anointing” for great miracles. Although he did not ask for an offering, most of the people came and dropped notes, and coins at the “pulpit.” When they left, Antobam counted the money.
“GH¢900!” he almost shouted, ‘and I did not even ask for an offering. This is fantabulous!’ Going to the Nana Kofi Broni shrine, he told himself, was a very wise move.
He started making plans……He had to choose a few assistants who would carry out his orders……. He had to hire some chairs as soon as possible……He had to find a suitable piece of land and, if possible, build his own church……. He had to start looking for a nice car, befitting the status of a popular preacher …… And, most importantly, he had to select two, three or four nice, young women to take care of his needs, apart from the servants who would cook, wash, iron and do other errands for him.
Abruptly, he told himself, this hungry, scruffy Kukurantumi boy was being transformed into a man of power and money, with some of the most beautiful women in town at his beck and call. Wow!
After a shower and supper, he shut the door to the very small room that served as his bedroom and dropped on the bed. Almost immediately, the shrill sounds, like whispers, began.
This time he did not express any fears. He realised to his great surprise that even though the sounds were not in the form of any language, he could understand them.
Tomorrow there will be testimonies……they will give money……. some rich people are being prepared …….they will bring big money ………. we will give them what they want, and they will bring money ……. big money …….big, big money……the women will also come, a number of them. ‘
He went to sleep smiling and whispering to himself, ‘big, big money, and women!’
He woke up at 5 and took a shower. After a breakfast of tea and several slices of bread he set off. On reaching the venue he saw to his great surprise that the place was full.
Very full, and quite a number of people rushed to embrace him and give him the wonderful news. The excited people narrated the testimonies about big sales, telephone calls from relatives directing them to go to Western Union, and impotent husbands who had miraculously rediscovered their magic powers.
He was truly glad that Nana Kofi Broni’s magic had already started working, but most of his attention was focused on the ladies in the congregation. He noticed to his great delight that some of them were really nice. I must start making my selection, he told himself. Today!
“Give a mighty clap offering to the great, mighty one for his wonders among us!” he started, and the response was very big.
“I said yesterday that you were going to see signs and wonders, and I am very happy that my word has been fulfilled. Even though we have taken allowed one hour for testimonies, many more of you would like to testify.
Tomorrow, I promise you that there will be ample time. I will only preach a short sermon. The rest of the time will be taken up by consultations, after which I will give directions on what to do to ensure that you defeat your enemies, secure your marriage and, most importantly, continue increasing your profits in your business.” His sermon was interspersed with ecstatic shouts of “Amen,” “it is true,” “God bless you” and “I receive it.”
His final word was emphatic; “Big miracles are coming your way. Keep attending church, and don’t forget to give thanks to God.”
By Ekow de Heer
Features
Full Gospel Businessmen Fellowship launches project to transform young lives
The Full Gospel Businessmen’s Fellowship International (FGBMFI) Ghana has launched the Senior High Schools and Colleges Project (SCP) aimed at empowering and transforming the lives of young people.
Speaking at the launch, Professor Mike Ocquaye, the former Speaker of Parliament, emphasised the need to catch them young and train them as the current times were challenging.
He lauded the project, calling on all to support it, saying “In fact, it’s very important to catch them young, train them, lead them, guide them, and mentor them because the times are indeed rough,” Prof. Ocquaye said.
Mr Ekow Egyir Dadson, the Director, Schools and Colleges Directorate, stated that since its inception in 2018, the SCP had reached over 70 educational institutions with countless testimonies of transformation.
“We began with the Presbyterian Boys Secondary School (PRESEC) Legon, and now in 2024, we have visited 74 schools and impacted the lives of over 100,000 students, some of whom were personally mentored and now have graduated from the universities.”
He explained that the SCP, a vision by FGBMFI Ghana, was a bold outreach programme designed to call young people to Christ, train and equip them for the future.
He cited testimony-sharing, mentorship, career guidance, entrepreneurship and counseling as some of the unique approaches to be used in reaching out to the targeted students.
Mr Emmanuel Baba Mahama, the National President of the FGBMFI Ghana, launched the SCP Manual, which would help the FGBMFI Zonal Family Chapters across Ghana in order to adopt schools and colleges within their catchment areas.
The Schools and Colleges project is making a great impact; we have had first-hand testimonies from school heads, teachers, and students (mentees) about the SCP. This project has come to stay, Mr Baba Mahama assured.
He, therefore, called for more volunteers and partners to help the SCP shape the next generation of leaders and citizens.
Findings by the FGBMFI revealed that Ghana’s senior high schools, colleges, and university students face growing challenges like addictions, indiscipline, poor academic performance, pornography, homosexuality, broken homes, and a lack of godly guidance.
That had been a concern to many parents and society, “but the FGBMFI believes there is hope to rescue and restore these young students,” Mr Mahama said. –GNA
