Obaa Yaa
Terminate pregnancy or will not accept baby
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We became lovers after school and this gentleman promised to marry me. With time, l got pregnant but he insisted l should abort the pregnancy since he was unemployed.
l got rid of the pregnancy and this remained a secret between us.
After two years, l became pregnant again and my lover once more suggested that l should abort this second pregnancy which l refused.
He threatened to disown the child if l chose to maintain the pregnancy. l ignored his threats and informed my parents about the mess which l had caused.
Though l was abused and ridiculed, my parents later followed up to the gentleman’s parents who backed their son’s claims that he was not responsible for my pregnancy.
Enraged though, my father decided to accept the child as one of his children.
Having gone through embarrassment and mental agony, my child is doing well in school and this funny man is trying to claim the child.
l have decided not to mind him. Have l taken the right decision?
Marian, Accra.
Dear Marian,
You must be commended for the bold decision you took under this trying conditions. Your parents must also be commended for standing by you to overcome this problem.
The possibility of becoming barren after the second abortion was great, hence your decision was appropriate.
You must ignore this gentleman but if he still insists, your parents should go to court and stop him from harassing you.
Secondly, your parents should calculate the expenditure they had made on you from the time you became pregnant through to the time you were delivered of the child and what you had spent to look after the child and ask the man to pay it all off.
Obaa Yaa
She says the girl is not my child
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My name is Amos, I am not married but have one child who I cater for. Just recently when I sent my child weekly money for her upkeep, her mother asked me not to bother.
She said that the child was not mine and that she was prepared to pay for everything I have spent on them.
Obaa Yaa, life around me now is hell. I can’t come to terms with what she is telling me after taking care of my child for six years.
Obaa Yaa, what can make a woman behave like this? What should do?
Amos,
Kwahu.
******************************************************************************************
Dear Amos,
I am really sorry for you. However, it is good that this woman is saying something you have not investigated and know for certainty if the child is yours or not. That will keep your mind at rest.
Take a lawyer and send the matter to court. The court will most certainly order a paternity test where you can know your stand as to the parentage of this girl.
If she is yours, you can take legal steps to claim her from the dishonest mother. If it is proved that she is not your child, then you can make your lawyer prepare a bill for the woman to reimburse you for all you have spent on the child.
Obaa Yaa
I am barren, my husband has impregnated girl, 18
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 40 years old married for 10 years. I have been to so many hospitals in the country, herbalists and even to spiritualists for a help in child bearing, but to no avail.
My problem now is that, I have just been hinted that my husband has impregnated an 18- year old girl.
He does everything for her. Even though he has not neglected me, I am very hurt, and what can I do?
Akua,
Koforidua.
*******************************************************************************
Dear Akua,
IT is always good for everybody to investigate what he or she hears before whole-heartedly accepting it as a gospel truth.
Most rumours are peddled about people but they turn out to be false.
Anyhow, let your husband know, what you have heard and let him react to it. You may found out that it is a different story altogether.
However, if it turns out to be true, then it means your husband has not lived up to his marriage vows, and depending on what your religious principles and emotions are, you might advise yourself.
Another option is to stick to your husband and continue seeking a child of your own.
Don’t get stressed out though, take it cool and seek diligently for yours. One day, you will have the last laugh.
