Obaa Yaa
She backs out of marriage
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Convinced that we love each other and nothing could hold us back from becoming husband and wife, we planned to get married before December this year.
Unfortunately, unexpected quarrels and anger in every matter made it impossible for us to carry out this plan. My lover, for reasons best known to her, changed her attitude and would not compromise in any way.
Despite repeated calls from our friends, she has refused to listen to their plea for an amicable settlement of what the problem was.
After a couple of weeks, a friend informed me that my lover has been going out with another gentleman. This information made me to understand the sudden change in her.
Checks further revealed that my lady had a divided attention, hence her decision to leave me for good.
Though it was heart-rending, l could not do otherwise and had to leave the matter as it had occurred and she went ahead to marry her sweet heart.
After two years in a happy marriage, she surprisingly called me one evening to tell me that she was sorry for leaving me. She, however, concluded that she was not happy and would like to end the marriage and come back to me.
What should l do?
Kwame- Tema.
Dear Kwame,
You have done well by entertaining this former friend of yours, even after she had rendered your heart and went ahead to marry another man.
Do you think she would have called to find out how you fared if things had gone on smoothly in her marriage?
The husband will definitely blame you for breaking his marriage if she dared divorce him and later marries you. His anger will be intensified if he discovers that you were the former boyfriend.
One cannot explain why she took that decision to pick somebody over you, and what has changed this time?
Therefore, if she has decided to back out of the marriage let her carry her problems alone.
Obaa Yaa
They said the carpenter is not a good match
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As a University graduate from the prestigious University of Ghana currently doing my National Service in a very great institution, I am dating a carpenter who barely completed his Junior High School.
I love him, and I don’t see any problem dating him but my sisters are against it.
I started dating him when I was in my third year, he is caring, free spirit and kind.
My sisters are saying he is not a good match for me and he will block my chances in future.
He’s even demanding to go see my parents.
Please what should I do?
Miriam,North Legon
*****
Dear Miriam,
I can see the love for your boyfriend is deep. I pray the two of you will be in this boat forever.
Love does not show class, level etc. It’s about two matured people who have decided to build a family together.
In your letter, you mentioned that your sisters were against you marrying the carpenter. They are looking at your boyfriend’s background and occupation.
If you really love him, you can help him to register for courses in order to upgrade his schooling and make his business very attractive.
I know there are men who are interested in you as well. But don’t let that get into your head. Take your time and study all of them because marriage is a long journey.
Take him to your parents as well, they might even like him.
Obaa Yaa
He has stopped going to church
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am going through hell. I have been married for five years and I have known no peace.
My husband who was a staunch Christian before we married has taken to serious drinking.
And anytime he is drunk, he insults me for no reason. We have a child together.
He has stopped going to church with us. Anytime he is drunk, he doesn’t come home.
I can’t cope any longer with the marriage, I want to quit. I need your wise counsel.
Yaa Mansa,
Techiman.
****
Dear Yaa Mansa,
Married is not a straight road. It can be rough and winding sometimes because many factors come to play.
Frustration at work can turn a man into a drunkard. Even nagging can change the nice character of a man.
Financial problems can change a man’s mood.
So humans do change, but the good thing is that they can also change for the better.
However before a person can change, the root cause of his problem must be ascertained.
Find out why your husband is drinking and also stopped going to church and help him to reform.
Note that in such circumstances, nagging does no good. He must be sympathized with and helped to turn around, and not condemned.
