Obaa Yaa
My husband declines medical check up
Dear ObaaYaa,
We have been married for six years and l cannot remember the month in which l missed my menstrual period. I had undergone medical examinations at the hospital and the results were the same that there was no problem with me.
Based on the outcome of the results, the doctor requested that my husband should report at the hospital to undergo the appropriate tests to ascertain the problem, but he would not listen to my plea and the insistence of the doctor to go to the hospital.
My greatest concern is the pressure his family is pilling on me for a baby.
I am confused about the conduct of my husband and do not know what to do.
Should l reveal the secret to his family about his refusal to go for the test at the hospital?
Gladys, Accra.
Dear Gladys,
I share in your frustration and the incessant pressure on you though it is not your fault. Irrespective of the difficulties being encountered, it is too early for you to throw your hands in desperation.
Since the challenges are daunting, you have to explore or exhaust the available avenues in the marriage to resolve what seems to be going wrong.
This is a dicey issue which must be handled with great care otherwise it will explode and possibly cause the disintegration of your marriage. Though the pressure keeps coming, let the secret be between you and your husband. It is likely the family is equally pilling pressure on him as well, only that he has decided not to mention it to you.
You have to employ the tricks under your sleeves, combined with love and convince him not to be afraid but go to the hospital.
It is my belief that if he is in dire need of fathering a child, he will go for the check.
Obaa Yaa
They said the carpenter is not a good match
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As a University graduate from the prestigious University of Ghana currently doing my National Service in a very great institution, I am dating a carpenter who barely completed his Junior High School.
I love him, and I don’t see any problem dating him but my sisters are against it.
I started dating him when I was in my third year, he is caring, free spirit and kind.
My sisters are saying he is not a good match for me and he will block my chances in future.
He’s even demanding to go see my parents.
Please what should I do?
Miriam,North Legon
*****
Dear Miriam,
I can see the love for your boyfriend is deep. I pray the two of you will be in this boat forever.
Love does not show class, level etc. It’s about two matured people who have decided to build a family together.
In your letter, you mentioned that your sisters were against you marrying the carpenter. They are looking at your boyfriend’s background and occupation.
If you really love him, you can help him to register for courses in order to upgrade his schooling and make his business very attractive.
I know there are men who are interested in you as well. But don’t let that get into your head. Take your time and study all of them because marriage is a long journey.
Take him to your parents as well, they might even like him.
Obaa Yaa
He has stopped going to church
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am going through hell. I have been married for five years and I have known no peace.
My husband who was a staunch Christian before we married has taken to serious drinking.
And anytime he is drunk, he insults me for no reason. We have a child together.
He has stopped going to church with us. Anytime he is drunk, he doesn’t come home.
I can’t cope any longer with the marriage, I want to quit. I need your wise counsel.
Yaa Mansa,
Techiman.
****
Dear Yaa Mansa,
Married is not a straight road. It can be rough and winding sometimes because many factors come to play.
Frustration at work can turn a man into a drunkard. Even nagging can change the nice character of a man.
Financial problems can change a man’s mood.
So humans do change, but the good thing is that they can also change for the better.
However before a person can change, the root cause of his problem must be ascertained.
Find out why your husband is drinking and also stopped going to church and help him to reform.
Note that in such circumstances, nagging does no good. He must be sympathized with and helped to turn around, and not condemned.
