Obaa Yaa
My cheating girlfriend wants me back
Dear Obaa Yaa,
A girl I dated for over three years cheated on me with my friend and I ended the relationship.
My pain was not because she cheated on me, because I also cheated on her once and she forgave and stayed with me after pleading with her.
What I couldn’t stand was the fact that she slept with somebody I knew and someone I least expected to do this to his friend’s girl.
Now this girl is back; following me everywhere and seeking for forgiveness and come back to me.
I have assured her of my forgiveness and that I have nothing against her and my friend but she is not convinced.
She has put me in a tight corner with a request to take her back because she did same for me.
The difficulty is that the sight of her brings back those memories.
Quarmyne Seth, Odumase
Dear Seth,
I must say that I applaud you for forgiving your girlfriend and your friend especially when she forgave you when you cheated too.
I would, however, advise you against accepting her again because you would be tempted to cheat on her again.
In your situation now, trust in your relationship is no more. Just forgive her and move on. It doesn’t take a day to forget someone, especially when you both have memories together. It could take a longer time so it’s up to you to know what you actually want and go for it.
See what makes you busy and happy like going out with your friends, listening to music, going for parties, trips, just to get busy. It can help you recover.
Also, be very careful bout your friend too because he has betrayed your trust.
Obaa Yaa
They said the carpenter is not a good match
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As a University graduate from the prestigious University of Ghana currently doing my National Service in a very great institution, I am dating a carpenter who barely completed his Junior High School.
I love him, and I don’t see any problem dating him but my sisters are against it.
I started dating him when I was in my third year, he is caring, free spirit and kind.
My sisters are saying he is not a good match for me and he will block my chances in future.
He’s even demanding to go see my parents.
Please what should I do?
Miriam,North Legon
*****
Dear Miriam,
I can see the love for your boyfriend is deep. I pray the two of you will be in this boat forever.
Love does not show class, level etc. It’s about two matured people who have decided to build a family together.
In your letter, you mentioned that your sisters were against you marrying the carpenter. They are looking at your boyfriend’s background and occupation.
If you really love him, you can help him to register for courses in order to upgrade his schooling and make his business very attractive.
I know there are men who are interested in you as well. But don’t let that get into your head. Take your time and study all of them because marriage is a long journey.
Take him to your parents as well, they might even like him.
Obaa Yaa
He has stopped going to church
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am going through hell. I have been married for five years and I have known no peace.
My husband who was a staunch Christian before we married has taken to serious drinking.
And anytime he is drunk, he insults me for no reason. We have a child together.
He has stopped going to church with us. Anytime he is drunk, he doesn’t come home.
I can’t cope any longer with the marriage, I want to quit. I need your wise counsel.
Yaa Mansa,
Techiman.
****
Dear Yaa Mansa,
Married is not a straight road. It can be rough and winding sometimes because many factors come to play.
Frustration at work can turn a man into a drunkard. Even nagging can change the nice character of a man.
Financial problems can change a man’s mood.
So humans do change, but the good thing is that they can also change for the better.
However before a person can change, the root cause of his problem must be ascertained.
Find out why your husband is drinking and also stopped going to church and help him to reform.
Note that in such circumstances, nagging does no good. He must be sympathized with and helped to turn around, and not condemned.
