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Obaa Yaa

Should l take revenge on my ex boyfriend?

Dear Obaa Yaa,

We were friends from the Senior High School and became lovers throughout our stay in the university. Our friendship developed to the stage that he said ” l am the apple of his eyes”  and he promised to marry me for which  l did not hesitate to accept his proposal.

A year after we had completed our programmes in the university, l missed my period, despite the efforts l did to protect myself from being pregnant.

l was embarrassed in view of the situation in which l found myself.  l could neither eat nor sleep, and all those who saw me at that time discovered that l had a serious problem in hand.

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Though he pleaded with me to abort my pregnancy, l failed to comply.  However, with time, he mounted pressure on me again and further explained that he was not employed, therefore, he would not be in the position to support me from the antenatal stage through to the time l would be delivered of my baby. 

Later, he brought me some herbal concoction which he got from a friend and forced me to take it, failure to which he would refuse to accept the pregnancy and cease to talk to me.

l eventually obliged  and took the concoction after which l  bled  for hours unending and later developed  serious complications.

l became unconscious and was rushed to the hospital at the point of death, but was lucky to recover early. l was subsequently  discharged after  three weeks. 

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The medical doctor who treated me told my mother that he feared l would not be able to give birth in the future.

Now that l have complications due to the abortion, he has abandoned me and impregnated another lady whom he has promised to marry.

Naturally, l feel cheated and l am considering to take revenge. What should l do?

Nana  Awurama.

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Dear Nana Awurama,

First of all, we thank God for sparing your life and the ordeal that you have endured. 

Take heart as you go  through serious emotional moments. It is unfortunate that you allowed yourself to be deceived into  taking a decision which is going to cause you the rest of your life, and for which you have yourself to blame.

It is not clear the sort of revenge you intend to take. No matter your plans, revenge could lead you into serious trouble if care is not taken, because you may be influenced by the anger in you to react.

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Allow him to go ahead with his planned marriage if his conscience permits him.

Commit yourself to God and He will direct your path. Seek for forgiveness from God and hold nothing in your heart against him.

Forgiveness needs a broad, great and tender heart which you must hold unto and utilise to your benefit.

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Obaa Yaa

Dad says he won’t pay my fees

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am facing a big problem which is threatening my education and life as well.

I am in my last year in secondary school but my father is threatening to stop paying my school fees for reasons I cannot disclose.

I am appealing through you to any person or organisation to come to my rescue to help me continue with my education.

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 I am ready for any job, be it a driver or houseboy. I am a worried person. Please help.

Benson, Accra.

Dear Benson,

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You are ready to become a houseboy or a driver in someone else’s house and must be ready to do anything for your father to change his mind.

I suggest you go down on your knees and own up for what you have done and ask for his forgiveness.

Bear in mind that times are hard, not only in this country. Most people do not even get regular meals, so if apart from food and clothes, you are lucky to be receiving secondary education, then you have to be grateful to your parents and concentrate on your studies.

If you are still keen on continuing with your education, then go and tell the whole story to an elderly person and ask him to accompany you to your father and apologise.

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Obaa Yaa

Pastors take too much money from members

Dear Obaa Yaa,

A FRIEND invited me to his church a few weeks ago and I was embar­rassed at the way the priest de­manded money from the congregation.

Will God bless such offerings extract­ed from church goers?

Etornam,

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Volta Region.

Dear Etornam,

It is true that some churches demand money from their congregation. But it is also a fact that some of these churches uses these funds to build proper places of worship.

Utilities like water and electricity bills plus certain allowances or salaries of full –time workers in the church are also settled with this money.

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Indeed if these money is put to prop­er use, it will enhance God’s work, and contributors would be blessed.

But if the money is misused, the people may think they are deceiving the congregation, but they cannot deceive God.

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