Relationship
Is cohabitation good for future marriage?
Couples living together, cohabiting or coexisting, and sharing sexual intimacy before marriage, is said to increase or encourage divorce.
This has been confirmed by Ambert (2009) who explained that cohabited couples are less committed and can easily decide to go or come out of a relationship as compared to married couples who are much committed.
Moreover, multiple cohabitations (with different partners in previous relationships) before marriage increase the risk of divorce.
The reason is that when such a couple is married, they are more likely to opt for divorce easily since they have previous records of often ending cohabited relationships before they finally married the one they are with.
Rodrigues, Hall and Fincham (2006) revealed in their findings that men and women who cohabit their future spouses before marriage have a higher likelihood of divorce as compared to their counterparts who do not.
On the extreme end, a research study has shown that cohabitation which involved only one partner stands a lower risk of divorce after marriage than cohabitation which involved series of partners.
Nevertheless, the divorce risk for one partner cohabitation is still higher than a couple who did not cohabit at all.
What does all this mean to you? Are you and your partner cohabiting before your marriage?
These research findings confirm that not only is the Christian teaching against cohabitation a spiritual reason; but in addition, it is a well-documented research fact attesting to the infallibility of the Holy Scriptures.
They confirm that the Bible is true in all its foundational teachings.
Thankfully, as Christian partners who are governed by the authority of the Holy Scriptures, I am sure you have been taught in one way or the other to stay away from cohabiting since it is not a godly or holy way of living in the sight of the Almighty God. The Church’s teaching on cohabitation is not an ‘arbitrary’ rule.
Living together before marriage is a sin; because it violates God’s commandments and the law of the Church.
As earlier stated, by the word ‘cohabitation’, we mean the practice of a man and a woman living together, and sharing sexual intimacy, without being married. The only sexual relations that are approved by God are inside the covenant of marriage.
Cohabitation is not a modern trend; it dates back through most of history. In the Roman city of Corinth, sex outside of marriage was common, so much so that the converts to Christianity had written to the Apostle Paul about the problem. His reply was:
“Now concerning the matters about which you wrote:
“It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” (1 Cor. 7:1 3, ESV)
Paul gave this instruction because he understood that God’s purpose for sex was inside the commitment of marriage. Sex outside the marriage relationship is called ‘sexual immorality’.
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV.
COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist).
Author, Psychotherapist, Psychologist, Marriage Therapist & Reverend Minister
Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC)
Relationship
Marriage is a cultural union
Marriage is a cultural union
Marriage is often considered a cultural union; because it is a social institution that is deeply rooted in cultural norms and traditions. In many cultures, marriage is not just a union between two individuals, but a union between families, tribes, or even entire communities.
Marriage is a cultural union or institution that varies across different societies and cultures, but it typically involves certain common elements, such as a public declaration of commitment, a legal contract, and a religious or social ceremony.
In many cultures, marriage is also closely tied to religious or spiritual beliefs, and may involve elaborate ceremonies and rituals that reflect these beliefs. For example, in African and Christian dominated cultures, the wedding ceremony is usually seen as a sacred union between a man and woman, and involves a number of traditional rituals and customs that symbolise the couple’s commitment to each other and to their shared spiritual path.
The cultural significance of marriage varies widely across cultures, but some common themes include the formation of social bonds, the establishment of a family unit, and the preservation of cultural values and traditions. Marriage is often seen as a way to ensure the continuation of a particular culture or way of life, as well as a way to transmit cultural knowledge and values to future generations.
Generally, marriage can be seen as a cultural union because it is deeply embedded in the social and cultural fabric of many societies around the world. It serves as a powerful symbol of social cohesion and continuity, and reflects the values and beliefs of the communities in which it is practised.
In Christianity, marriage is often viewed as a sacred covenant between a man and a woman, established by God for the purpose of companionship, procreation, and the establishment of a family unit. While marriage is viewed as a union between two individuals, it is also seen as a union between God, the couple, and their community. The Christian view of marriage as a cultural union is rooted in the belief that human beings are created in the image of God and are therefore endowed with the capacity for love, relationship, and community.
Marriage is seen as a reflection of the triune nature of God, who exists in a perfect relationship of love and unity between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Christian teachings emphasise the importance of fidelity, commitment, and self-sacrifice in marriage, and stress the importance of maintaining a strong and healthy relationship between spouses.
In many Christian traditions, marriage is also seen as a sacrament, a sacred rite that confers spiritual grace and blessings on the couple. The wedding ceremony is often conducted in a Church or other religious settings, and may involve rituals and customs that reflect the couple’s Christian faith and commitment to each other.
Essentially, the Christian view of marriage as a cultural union emphasizes the importance of love, commitment, and community in the establishment of a lifelong partnership between a man and a woman. It is seen as a sacred covenant between God, the couple, and their community, and serves as a powerful symbol of the values and beliefs of the Christian faith.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Relationship
Blended families-tips for easing the transition-Part 2
As divorce is on the increase in numerous places in the world, blended families have become a common type of household. Many families have a lot of difficulties navigating this unique family situation with success.
A major reason is that members of blended families need to make many adjustments in their lives. The transition can be problematic. And trying to force it can breed conflict and resentment.
Last week we looked at four tips that would help ease the transition, this week we continue with another four tips.
5. Keep the biological connections strong
Encourage all the children to keep a close connection to both of their biological parents. It may be difficult when they live different cities, but it is not impossible.
When you are supportive in this way and respectful of the ex-spouses, the children will see that it is not a competition for affection. Rather, it shows them that you truly care about their happiness.
6. Give support to the children who have to live in two households
Show compassion and understanding to the children who have to move back and forth. Do not assume all is fine but be ready to listen when they need you.
They may worry about missing out on something while they are gone. They may also still have a lot of unresolved feelings about the end of their biological parent’s marriage or the death of one of their parents.
The moment of packing up and moving once again can be highly emotional and feel overwhelming to them. Be by their side.
7. Nurture your marriage
Of course, the transition is not just tough on the children but also for you and your spouse. You will need your partner’s support and they need yours. So, do not forget to make time for each other and cultivate closeness. Your relationship needs to be strong to make a success of your new blended family.
Enjoy date nights and keep your bond strong. Your children will naturally fall in place behind your lead.
8. Expect to adjust
With proper help and guidance, children can recover from family disruption. All children experience a difficult adjustment period following a divorce or remarriage.
It takes time, patience, and perhaps some professional assistance, but most children are able to regain their emotional bearings. It is critical that the adults manage their own emotional recovery in order to help the children adjust without trauma.
Source- eddinscounseling.com
